Don't Stop Believing

Some Thoughts on Lent

2012-02-23T12:15:00.003-06:00

Although I grew up in the church, I wasn't really aware of Lent until I lived with my friend Kathy in college. Kathy was the first Catholic I ever knew in a day-to-day way, and she taught me about the church calendar, including the concept of giving something up for forty days. For our first Lent of roommatehood, Kathy decided to give up Cheez-Its (she was addicted enough to make it a valid sacrifice). I still laugh at the memory of her cramming handfuls of Cheez-Its into her mouth on Mardi Gras night, while another friend stood by counting down the seconds to midnight, and I sat in the corner with our other best friend, Emily, raising a glass to Protestantism. (Years later, Emily joyfully became a Catholic, so now I'd be toasting by myself. :))

Later I learned that a lot of Protestants also participate in Lent, and from that point on, it became an uncomfortable issue for me. I didn't like the feeling of trying to earn God's approval, or setting myself up for failure and guilt, by giving something up. I didn't like giving something up, period. I felt like it compromised my belief in justification by faith alone. (Then I felt like that was a too-convenient excuse.) Most of all, it really bothered me when people (none of my Catholic friends) judged the difficulty of each others' sacrifices like it was some kind of holiness contest. I didn't want any part of that. But very slowly, I came to feel more positive about Lent. I now believe that, like many faith-related things, Lent is ultimately very personal. It's a chance to participate in Jesus' suffering in a teeny tiny way, to remind ourselves of our dependence on Him, to really prepare our hearts for Easter. What cemented it for me this year was a statement I recently heard at church: "There's no resurrection unless something dies first."

I've learned not to think about what everyone else is doing for Lent and how wimpy my efforts are in comparison. Some years I don't give up anything, but add a prayer time or study a book instead. I think about what needs to change in my life or in my walk with God, and then I do something that will help with that heart work - without making me totally resentful and miserable, which I think is counterproductive. (If I had to give up caffeine, or all beverages but water, or all sweets, you might as well shoot me on Ash Wednesday.) Lent has become a time to reflect on, and try to participate in, what God wants to do in me.

Despite these conclusions, I'll never have it all together (with this or with anything else). I spent all of Tuesday morning scrambling for some sort of Lenten idea. I decided it would be better to do nothing than to pick some random thing and do it with the wrong spirit. But finally, I settled on giving up chocolate. I've never given up a food item before, because anything that looks like a diet puts me in diet mode. But the fact is, I eat a LOT of chocolate. My afternoon snack always consists of a chocolate-based Fiber One bar, or a few Hershey Minis, or sometimes both. I pop Hershey Kisses here and there to quell sudden sugar cravings. Not to mention the chocolate cereals and chocolate ice cream and chocolate Jello Temptations. I had no idea how extensively chocolate had quietly worked its way into my daily life. Then I realized that sin often works the same way. BINGO. Obviously chocolate is not sin and I'll happily reunite with it on Easter, but I think the constant reminders of its absence will do me good. It'll also force me to find healthier 100-calorie-or-less afternoon snacks. (Suggestions?)

Just some of my thoughts. Take or leave. :) I realize I should have posted this yesterday, but it's been a crazy week.

(ETA: My friend Becca has another take on Lent that I thought was great and thought-provoking!)

Presidents' Day Weekend

2012-02-21T11:27:00.002-06:00

Last weekend, my parents and I went to Indiana to visit my brother! I hadn't been to Evansville since we helped Kevin move last summer. His birthday is on Lincoln's birthday, and my mom's birthday is on Washington's birthday, so Presidents' Day weekend was the perfect time for a family gathering.

On the drive up on Friday, we stopped in Paducah, Kentucky. Paducah was prettier and less sleepy than I expected. We had lunch at the very historic Kirchhoff's Deli and Bakery (it opened in 1873). Then my mom and I visited the National Quilt Museum while my dad napped in the car. :) Again, I expected to see a few impressive but generally grandma-type quilts. Instead, I was blown away by the craftsmanship and creativity of the quilts. Many were like paintings made of cloth. Sadly, pictures were prohibited, but I encourage everyone to go see the quilts for yourselves. They were amazing. I'd love to visit again and spend more time there. I was inspired!

We had an enjoyable, but low-key, visit in Evansville. Debra came up from Nashville to join us for part of the weekend. Our days pretty much revolved around eating, thanks to the cold, dreary weather and abundance of good restaurants.

I haven't had much experience with German food, but Gerst Haus was great!

One afternoon we drove over to Newburgh to show Debra the cute "downtown" and the Ohio River.

Proof that I was not on this trip by myself

We also took in an Icemen game downtown at the new Ford Center. I hadn't been to a hockey game in many years, but I had fun! Everything is so easy to get to in Evansville. Nothing in the city is more than about ten minutes from Kevin's apartment. Also, all downtown parking is free. Mind: boggled.

Oh, and I met fellow blogger Amanda! She goes to Kevin's church. :)

We had a nice visit, but I was glad we got home fairly early yesterday. The weather in Memphis was nice and I was able to go for a jog in the sunshine (with new sneakers - my knees are already thanking me). This winter hasn't been nearly as bad as the past few, but I'm suddenly, totally Over It. But the time change is only a few weeks away! Then we'll at least have more sun.

Italian Wedding Soup

2012-02-17T10:00:00.000-06:00

I made the original version of this soup for my parents' 35th anniversary party, and it was a huge hit. Since then I've made at least five batches! Something about this soup really hits the spot in winter, and while cheese isn't a main ingredient, the broth is really rich and creamy.

This recipe is great for variations. I've made it without the celery when I didn't have any, and added mushrooms when they were on hand. While the meatballs are delicious and not difficult to make, I usually replace them with chicken for time and health reasons. The soup would be tasty without meat, too.

Technically, I'm not sure if this is true Italian wedding soup without the meatballs, so maybe I should make up a new name for my version!

Italian Wedding Soup

Adapted from Barefoot Contessa (love her!). Serves 8 - I half it if I'm just cooking for me.

Ingredients:

For the meatballs:

¾ pound ground chicken (I used turkey)

½ pound ground chicken sausage (I used ground pork sausage)

2/3 cup fresh white bread crumbs

2 teaspoons (2 cloves) minced garlic

3 Tbsp chopped fresh parsley leaves

¼ cup freshly grated Pecorino Romano

¼ cup freshly grated Parmesan, plus extra for serving

3 Tbsp milk

1 extra-large egg, lightly beaten

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

For the soup:

2 Tbsp olive oil

1 cup minced yellow onion

1 cup diced carrots (3 carrots), cut into ¼ inch pieces

¾ cup diced celery (2 stalks), cut into ¼ inch pieces

10 cups chicken stock½ cup dry white wine

1 cup small pasta, such as tubetini or stars (I use ditalini)

¼ cup minced fresh dill

12 ounces baby spinach, washed and trimmed

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

For the meatballs: place the ground chicken, sausage, bread crumbs, garlic, parsley, cheeses, milk, egg, 1 teaspoon salt, and ½ teaspoon pepper in a bowl and combine gently with a fork. With a teaspoon, drop 1 to 1 ¼-inch meatballs onto a sheet pan lined with parchment paper. You should have about 40 meatballs. They don't have to be perfectly round. Bake for 30 minutes, until cooked through and lightly browned. Set aside.

For the soup: heat the olive oil over medium-low heat in a large heavy-bottomed soup pot. Add the onion, carrots, and celery and saute until softened, 5 to 6 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the chicken stock and wine and bring to a boil. Add the pasta to the simmering broth and cook for 6 to 8 minutes, until the pasta is tender. Add the fresh dill and then the meatballs (or shredded cooked chicken, if using) to the soup and simmer for 1 minute. Taste for salt and pepper. Stir in the fresh spinach and cook for 1 minute, until the spinach is just wilted.

Ladle into soup bowls and sprinkle each serving with extra grated Parmesan.

On Your Own Terms

2012-02-16T16:55:00.002-06:00

My name change has finally gone through at work. I didn't want to announce anything until my e-mail and other accounts had been changed (a slow and painful process, thanks to outsourcing). Now I have a new name plate, a new badge, and new business cards on the way, and I feel like a new woman! My co-workers have added to the chorus of encouragement and support about the change. It's nice.

Last week, in response to my name update on Facebook, an old friend confided that her marriage is falling apart. She's going through much the same experience I did. My heart hurt for her, and I was overwhelmed with things I wanted to tell her. In all seriousness, I could fill a book with advice and hope for hurting, bewildered, abandoned women, and maybe someday I will. In the meantime, I may start blogging about it more regularly. I don't know the demographics of my readership, but even if these things don't apply to you, maybe you can use them to help or relate to someone else.

All that to say, my very positive name change has reinforced something I realized on day one: when you're going through a divorce, or any life-changing crisis that requires a lot of hard decisions, you have to do it on your own terms. This is so important. I'm not saying you should act carelessly or selfishly. I'm not advising against seeking wise counsel, or for doing it all on your own. I'm talking about the gray areas. The timing of things. The choices only you can make for yourself. With every step of my divorce, I waited, I talked to trusted friends, I prayed, I figured out what I could handle, and then I did what was right for me at that time. It wasn't always what others wanted me to do, when they wanted me to do it, but I have no regrets. It was a faith-enriching, confidence-building experience like no other. In keeping with that process, going back to my old name has been a happy and empowering occasion. People have congratulated me, and it's actually felt like the right response. It wouldn't have back then. Divorce, in itself, will never be something to celebrate, but a positive fresh start and reclaiming your identity is. In this case, I didn't have my name taken from me. I thought it all through and chose to give it back. That makes all the difference.

So many times over the last year and a half, I've thought I knew how people would respond to my situation. I've expected people to shun me, tsk-tsk me, assume that I casually tossed my marriage out like yesterday's garbage. With few exceptions, the exact opposite has happened. Even acquaintances and new friends have assumed all the correct things, have embraced and encouraged me. Every time it happens, my heart heals a little bit more. I still bear a lot of shame for being a divorced Christian woman, no matter how many Biblical grounds I had. But the shame is melting away, a little at a time.

I wrote this passage out for myself to claim it over my year. Over my life. I encourage you to claim it for yourself too.

Valentine Recap

2012-02-15T09:17:00.000-06:00

My Valentine's Day 2012:

Beautiful tulips from all my siblings, delivered to work.

Snoopy and a CUTE new dress from my mom.

Semi-scandalous card from my sister, encouraging me to "keep my eyes on the prize." LOL!!!

Cookies made by Myla and Hillary to celebrate my return to my maiden name. (Seriously - I have the most affirming, thoughtful friends IN THE WORLD.)

Lemony Asparagus Tart and the Valentine episode of Glee.

Two Fuzzy Valentines.

I had a wonderful day and am newly reminded of the abundance of love already in my life. I don't deserve any of it - it's a blessing from God. Seems kind of greedy to ever want anything more!

I also made Smitten Kitchen's reverse hearted brownies for my small group tonight. I haven't officially tried them yet, but the scraps I ate while cutting the hearts were delicious.

Playlist: Cartoon Hearts Mix

2012-02-14T09:31:00.001-06:00

In keeping with the season, February's Playlist of the Month is full of love songs. Specifically, love songs that make cartoon hearts hover over my head. Some are old, some are new.

I could have gone with an anti-Valentine theme, but I always enjoy Valentine's Day regardless of my status. I see it as an opportunity to tell everyone you love that you love them. And in any case, I love love. I still swoon over romantic things even if there's no personal swooning going on. I'm a naturally cheesy person. Of course I wish I had some real cartoon hearts in my life, but I can still appreciate Valentine's without them.

I hope you all have a wonderful day today!

Friday Rambles

2012-02-10T15:02:00.003-06:00

How about a Friday check-in meme?

Outside my window... it's gray, drizzly, and COLD! I've been a little bummed about the lack of winter, but now I'm not sure I want it after all!

I am thinking... about getting an iPhone. I've been eligible for an upgrade for a while, but my old Droid Eris still works, so I'm not in a hurry. I've read pros and cons of Droid vs. iPhone, and the Droid is supposedly faster overall. But the iPhone is shinier.

I am thankful... for an excellent lunch with my dad at Buckley's Lunch Box today. I had the "burger salad" and it really hit the spot. That place is now high on my list of nicer lunch options.

In the kitchen... not much is going on! I keep adding to my stack of new recipes, but haven't made any of them. I haven't even baked muffins in weeks (Banana Nut and Peanut Butter Cheerios have me firmly in their grasp at the moment). I'm planning to bake heart brownies next week, though. I also continue to love Balsamic Butternut Squash, with different veggie combinations. My sister says roasted vegetables don't count as a meal, but I think they do when you devour the entire pan.

I am wearing... a gray sweater over a yellow-and-gray striped shirt, straight leg jeans, and fake Uggs. Not my finest fashion hour, but I'm mainly concerned with warmth today.

I am creating... more ruffle scarves! I started a new adult ballet class this week, which is great but will interfere with my set-aside sewing time. So I'm looking forward to sewing tonight. I need to knock out these scarves, and another Kindle cover, so I can move on to a skirt.

I am going... to visit my brother in the near future!

I am wondering... why it's so hard to find out how to change your name on an account. Neither the cable company, nor the cell phone company, nor any other company has a FAQ item or instructions about it. Do they not realize that 50% of their customers will probably change their names? Maybe more than once?

I am reading... Must've Done Something Good by Cheryl Cory, on my Kindle. It's been on my to-read list for at least a year. I might also go to the library and pick up Crossed, the sequel to Matched (finally), but I'm not sure I have time to be consumed by it.

I am hoping... for clarity/progress in different situations. The usual.

I am looking forward to... fun Valentine activities next week. And, of course, meeting my niece in about three months!

I am hearing... a lot of air traffic today. The flight pattern must be right overhead.

Around the house... Not much to report. My walk-in linen closet needs reorganization, but I'm not sure what to do with the space (the shelving could be better), so I keep putting it off. Now is the perfect time for indoor projects like that, so I need to take care of it soon.

Plans for the weekend: crafting, relaxing, going to the Tigers/UAB game, and watching the Grammys!

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(via Pinterest)

By the way, I hit 30 official Google "members" this week, and am now over 60 Google Reader subscribers. That's nothing to "real" bloggers, but it's very exciting to me! Thank you all for reading. :)

Surprised by Oxford by Carolyn Weber

2012-02-09T10:17:00.002-06:00

Surprised by Oxford, a memoir by Carolyn Weber, is a relatable and inspiring account of a journey to faith. A Canadian academic, Carolyn comes to Oxford for a graduate degree in Romantic-era literature, dragging heavy baggage both literal and metaphorical. She grew up poverty-stricken, with an erratic and usually absent dad, and this scholarship to Oxford is her big break. As soon as she arrives in England, she falls in with a new group of friends, several of whom are Christians. Her old perceptions of Christianity as an antiquated, intellect-killing belief system are shattered by these fun, brilliant, vibrant people – especially a man she refers to as TDH (Tall, Dark, and Handsome). As the year goes on (the memoir is structured around the term calendar), Carolyn's mind and heart are further opened by discussions with friends and respected teachers. She teeters on the edge of faith, afraid to fully commit. Finally, she becomes a Christian, but of course, that's not the end of the story. Even as she finds deep joy and fulfillment in her new faith, she continues to struggle with the Big Questions of life and how God fits into her personal past and future.

My favorite thing about this memoir is that it doesn't pull any punches. It's raw and honest, deeply thoughtful, asks hard questions, and doesn't provide easy answers. I appreciated the emphasis that becoming a Christian has consequences and might cost you things, and relationships, that you hold dear. That's not a message you'll hear often. At the same time, this is a personal story – I enjoyed Carolyn and her friends, and to be honest, I wasn't totally hooked until I started wondering where this thing with TDH was going. :) Her descriptions of Oxford are also beautiful. I was already interested in the town and campus because of Lewis and Tolkien, but now I really want to see it for myself!

I felt that this book got bogged down by exposition at a few points. Some of the conversations were so heavy and fact-laden that they seemed made up, and I even got a little bored – I was like, Who talks like this? But if anyone does, I believe these people would. My academic friends can probably back that up.

Overall, I highly recommend this memoir. I stayed up way too late last night to finish it!

***

This is my first review for BookSneeze! I received this free e-book in exchange for a review. If you like to write about books, join up. They have a lot of interesting new titles available.

Mommy-To-Bee Baby Shower

2012-02-08T10:06:00.002-06:00

Last weekend, with some help from my mom, I threw my sister her first baby shower at her house in Nashville! Debra's not due until May, but she's having FIVE baby showers, so she wanted to start early instead of having a bunch of parties at the end of her pregnancy.

One of Debra's nicknames as a child was "Busy Bee." A while back, I think even before she was pregnant, I saw some bee baby shower pictures on Pinterest and noted it as a cute idea for the future. For this party, I tried to convey the bee theme without going totally overboard. :)

I ordered invitations on Etsy and printed them at home! It was much easier (and cheaper) than searching a bunch of stores and having to settle for something so-so and expensive. If I were better at graphic design, I could make my own invitations, but right now I prefer to let the experts handle it!

Instead of a whole cake, I opted for cupcakes from the Publix bakery (another benefit of having the shower in Nashville). I was able to order the exact amount, color, and kind of cupcakes I wanted, and of course they were delicious. The cupcake toppers are also from Etsy. I printed them at home, punched them out with a 2" scallop punch, and hot glued them to cake pop sticks.

This is the easiest punch ever. Debra froze cranberry juice in a Bundt pan ahead of time, and we unmolded it into a punch bowl, then poured equal-ish amounts of ginger ale, pineapple juice, and lemonade over it. No measurements needed. It's pretty, too!

The menu was pretty low-key. Fruits, vegetables, chips and dips, a cheese ball, etc.

I made mini honey pots for the favors. You can order pre-made ones online, but I didn't think of it until it was too late. So I found these jars at Garden Ridge, filled them with honey, and hot glued more Etsy punch-outs onto them.

Debra enjoyed the party, so that's the most important thing. This aunthood thing is starting to seem really real! I'm excited. :)

Declaration of Independence

2012-02-07T11:56:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I reclaimed my maiden name.

I had a lot of well-thought-out reasons for keeping my ex's last name after my divorce. Most of them were related to authenticity and convenience and had nothing to do with him. I stick by those reasons and know it was the right choice for me at the time. I honestly had no plans ever to go back to my family name, but the idea crept up on me at some point during the holiday season. All of a sudden, I felt like my married name wasn't an honest representation of me anymore. It suddenly bothered me to carry the name of someone I have nothing to do with - I wanted to be known as part of my own wonderful family. I thought about the important things I might/hope to do in my life: publish a book, adopt a child, even send out another wedding invitation. I realized I didn't want to do them with his name. He shouldn't get any credit for me. ;) Whatever I might do, I want to do it as my root self.

Once I made the decision, it seemed like a good idea to take a vacation day and tackle all the red tape at once. Yesterday was the soonest I could do it. Because my divorce was final almost a year and a half ago, I had to go downtown to probate court and file a legal change of name. I'd never spoken to a real judge in a real courtroom before (confession: Legally Blonde quotes were rapid-firing through my head the entire time). It was a little unnerving, but overall very easy. I then toted my growing folder of documents to the Social Security office, the DMV, and the bank. In the midst of all that, my mom treated me to a celebratory lunch at TGI Fridays. We even split a Vanilla Bean Cheesecake (one of my all-time favorite desserts).

I feel good and happy about this change, but I dread the inevitable awkward conversations. People out of the loop are assuming I just now got divorced (this is about to include a truckload of co-workers and church people). It's awkward to have to keep saying, "It was a year and a half ago, I'm doing great now." I'm sure it makes me come across as blase, when treating divorce lightly is the last thing I ever want to do. On the other hand, if I'd changed my name right away, I couldn't have handled those conversations. I was still too raw and private and would have cried every time someone asked me. So I guess breeziness is better than falling apart!

For a lot of divorced women, changing their names marks the beginning of their renewal process. But for me, it's an outward reflection of an internal renewal that's already happened. Kind of like a baptism of my identity. :) I've already been reborn as my own (well, God's) woman. This is just the public announcement. Hopefully it'll be a door to even more growth and new things!

Making A Ruffle Scarf

2012-02-03T08:49:00.001-06:00

One of the best things about learning to sew at this point in time is the abundance of sewing tutorials out there. I have enough intriguing projects on my Pinterest Sewing board to last a long time (although I WILL have to look at a real pattern one of these days). This week I made a ruffle scarf from this tutorial!

Gandalf loves to help with creative projects. ♥

I bought three T-shirts at thrift (to make three scarves - why stop at one?). I love these colors. The instructions said to use "knit," so I made sure all the shirts were blends and not 100% cotton. The yellow and gray were plain men's T-shirts, but the fuschia is a women's shirt. You can't see the silver airbrushing on the side or the weird gathers, but trust me, it's a nice fabric begging to be made into something less garish. (Sewing is already changing the way I look at thrift clothes. I'm more aware of the quality of the material, not just the garment itself. There's a lot of potential there!)

This was a good beginner project because it gave me a chance to experiment with different stitches and tension settings. Basically, you cut off the T-shirt below the sleeves, cut it in half longways, "open" each half at the seam, and stitch those together to make one long strip of fabric. Then you fold or pin the strip in thirds lengthwise and do long "basting" stitches along the fold. This is the basic ruffling method. It was easy enough, although I had to keep moving the fabric to make sure it didn't ruffle back on itself. You go over the folds twice with the basting stitches, then again with a normal stitch to secure. Then you're supposed to rip out the basting stitches, but I figured, why bother? I was happy with the final product and didn't want to mess with it.

I've gotten rave reviews on the scarf and can't wait to make more! The others should go faster now that I know what to do, but this one only took about an hour anyway.

Peach wasn't so thrilled with it, though. :)

Enough

2012-02-02T09:00:00.000-06:00

I've been even thinkier than usual for the past few weeks, and it's not the kind that leads to insightful blog posts. It's the kind that makes me wish for a vacation from my own brain. I've made a lot of progress away from people-pleasing, striving, planning, and doubting, and toward boundaries and peace and confidence in God's love and purposes for me. But it doesn't take much to send me into a backsliding spiral. With just a little pressure, I question my choices, my future, and whether I'm wasting my life. I feel guilty about the comfortable, independent lifestyle I enjoy (when it's a gift and not something I need to apologize for). I worry that I have to figure out what God's plan for me is so I can do it. I worry that certain things aren't happening in my life because I'm doing something wrong, so I have to get to the bottom of that too. I feel both paralyzed and frantic. I decide it's time for another "board meeting" with God, where we invisibly sit down and hash out a Major Issue so I can show Him I'm serious and really need to hear from Him. (I thought this was a little crazy of me, but a friend I greatly admire does the same thing. I don't mind being crazy if she is too.)

The other day, I was troubled about something, and figured it must be time for another soul-searching session. But my next thought was, Why do I have to keep doing this??? Why do I have to constantly agonize about everything? I lived like this full-time for about 30 years, but the new me can't tolerate it. I just want to let go, enjoy my life, love God, love people, trust Him to guide and provide for me, and see what happens. Can't that be enough?

I really want it to be enough.

So that's where I am lately. Not much wisdom to share. Just an incoherently gushing mental tap.

Inspiration Wall

2012-02-01T11:39:00.000-06:00

I put up an "inspiration wall" in my cubicle this week! It's basically made up of happy photos and inspiring things I saw on Pinterest. I got the idea about a month ago, but kept forgetting to print everything and have the non-photos laminated (necessary, since this is a flip cabinet that I use a lot). I didn't overload the space, since I know I'll want to add to it in the future.My current favorite wall item (and daily mantra):

(Seriously, I've NEVER known so many pregnant women in my life. I need to plan some new mom dinner recipes for April through July!)

More substance coming tomorrow...

January Book List

2012-01-31T10:35:00.002-06:00

Quitter: Turning Your Job Into a Dream and Your Dream Into a Job by Jon Acuff
I felt like this book was written directly at me. Sometimes that encouraged me, and sometimes it made me a little angry. It's insightful, and because it's Jon Acuff, also hilarious. I don't know that ALL of his dream-chasing career advice is applicable to me - it seems more geared toward entrepreneurs or Real Artists - but it definitely gave me food for thought. I recommend it to anyone fed up with their current situation, but not sure what to do next. I'm glad I read it.

Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare
Things get more complicated in this second Infernal Devices novel. The secret of Will's jerkiness is revealed, Tessa receives Shadowhunter training and is torn between Will and Jem, and Charlotte has to track down the evil Magister or lose her leadership of the Institute. Plus some other surprises. I devoured this in about 24 hours. I sigh to wait another year or more for the next one.

Belong to Me by Marisa de los Santos
Why did I wait so long to read this sequel to Love Walked In? The story reconnects with Cornelia, Teo, and Clare several years after the first novel. Cornelia and Teo have moved to the suburbs and are having trouble fitting in with their neighbors, especially WASPy queen bee Piper (whose best friend is dying of cancer). Cornelia befriends another new woman in town, Lake, but is puzzled by her sudden mood swings, especially on the subject of Lake's teenage son. It all leads up to a shocking twist that I, at least, never saw coming. De los Santos is a genius at writing realistic relationships, and characters you wish you could be friends with.

Basketball Made Simple: A Spectator's Guide by P.J. Harari and Dave Ominsky
Since I love my Tiger basketball, I wanted to better understand the elements of the game. So I checked out this very earnest, but informative, guide. It covers basic player roles, strategies, and common fouls, and includes a general history of the game, NCAA and NBA. I also liked the profiles of famous players at the end.

The Gospel of Ruth: Loving God Enough to Break the Rules by Carolyn Custis James
I already talked about this one here.

Pretty in Plaid by Jen Lancaster
This volume of Jen's memoirs covers her childhood, teenage years, college years, and early 20s... through fashion. :) As usual, she's very funny and likable!

A Praying Life by Paul Miller
This is a book I'll come back to many times. It's about prayer, but it's also about hope and honesty and disappointment. The main point is that prayer should be a natural part of all those things, integrated into our lives, not a separate item on a spiritual checklist. I've read some books on prayer that were pretty dry, but this one is almost as engaging as a novel. I can't recommend it enough. It's already changed my prayer life for the better.

Books for January/2012 year to date: 7

Life Lately 1/30

2012-01-30T14:48:00.002-06:00

This weekend was truly fantastic. I got to hang out with so many of my favorite people! On Friday night, Hillary and David had a well-attended show at the Main Street Art Walk. I always enjoy seeing their beautiful work. I also talked and laughed (a lot) over turkey sandwiches with a friend from my small group. Then the socialness continued on Saturday morning with a small pancake breakfast at another friend's house.

On Saturday night I went to the Tigers game with Kathy and Daniel, as usual. To my delight, the guy in the penguin costume was back, and accompanied by a giant banana. :D The Forum was packed and it was one of the most exciting games so far this season... thanks to the SIXTY-FOUR fouls called. If we'd lost, I absolutely would have blamed the refs. Kathy suggested bringing in some refs from the Bartlett Youth League because they make better calls. The Tigers play Southern Miss on Wednesday night for top billing in the conference. I'm nervous but excited!

Sunday was a beautiful day. My dad came over to trim a wayward limb from one of my maple trees (which are already setting buds thanks to the non-winter we're having). He recently helped me clear the backyard of leaves, something I'd never accomplished before. Even though the yard is brown, it's clean and tidy and I feel happy when I look at it!

My garden is the only thing that's not brown. I planted rye grass because it's supposed to protect the soil over the winter and make it richer for the next growing season. When spring comes, the grass will die out and I can till it into the soil. If nothing else, it looks pretty!

Awkward.

2012-01-27T15:15:00.001-06:00

Poor turtle needs a hug!

"Embrace the awkward" is a statement I hear a lot at church these days. My church is really trying to foster community, and from where I'm sitting, it's going well. But many of us often hesitate to approach new people, or get more "real" with people we already know, for fear of painful awkwardness. I know that's true of me. We're afraid of running out of witty conversation topics, or of stepping on someone's toes, or just of people thinking we're weird. Acknowledging this in a big group setting has been freeing for me. Instead of worrying about possible awkwardness, I can accept that there will be awkwardness and learn to be okay with it. Not that I've learned yet, but I'm getting there. Also, one of my pastors pointed out that it was pretty awkward for Jesus to become human and be among us.

Maybe we should also have a demonstration of awkward turtle. It's a useful and under-used gesture!

Wild On Wednesday: New Vacuum

2012-01-25T09:50:00.003-06:00

I've used an old school Electrolux vacuum for many years. It's well-made, but it's almost as old as I am and has no features, not even an on-off switch. Last week it finally broke down. My dad examined it and confirmed that it was a wiring problem. I could spend about $150 to have it fixed, or I could buy a bagless, HEPA-filter vacuum made in this century. It wasn't a hard decision.

What was difficult was deciding whether to buy a regular model or spring for a Dyson Animal (the Holy Grail of vacuums). After reading a LOT of reviews and talking to friends and family, I bought a Hoover Wind Tunnel Pet Rewind. It seemed comparable to the Dyson for less than half the price (and believe it or not, there are some bad reviews out there for the Dyson). After one use, I'm VERY pleased with the Hoover. The carpet looks great - I had to empty the container twice, which I took as a good (if yucky) sign. All the attachments are conveniently mounted on the vacuum, so I can sweep over the couches as I go by. But it took a long time to vacuum because I had to stop and adjust the floor settings a lot. And change outlets a lot, because the cord is kind of short (but it automatically retracts!). We'll see how it does over time, but I'm happy with my purchase.

Sorry to write an entire post about a vacuum, but this is me:

(Of course I haven't been compensated in any way to write about this. If I was getting paid to write on a regular basis, believe me, you would know. :))

Recent Goings-On

2012-01-23T13:17:00.000-06:00

♥ We had some severe weather late last night. The above is a picture of my home weather station, showing that the temperature and dew point were the same. I don't know the full scientific explanation, but basically, that's not good. The media hyped this storm all day and evening, then issued tornado warnings before it even crossed the river, but nothing major happened. My cat Gandalf didn't even go into the safe bathroom, which he normally does on his own (although he did hide in a closet for a while). So I wasn't too concerned. My cat is my VTI, and unlike the Channel 5 storm team, he hasn't been wrong yet. (No offense, storm team!)

♥ I got a shorter-than-usual haircut! I like it, but feel kind of iffy about it at the same time. Seems like it looked better when it was this short last summer. It'll probably take a few days to settle down.

♥ Southwest is coming to Memphis! So far there are only plans for four flights a day, and it could take years for them to really affect local rates, but that's enough for me. Just the thought of not always having to drive to Nashville or Little Rock is thrilling! NEW ERA.

♥ Speaking of new eras, I went to the Tigers/SMU game on Saturday afternoon. After the intro video and the starting lineup, the lights at the Forum wouldn't come back on, resulting in an at least 20-minute delay of game (and prompting a great discussion with Kathy about technological warfare - seriously, no good can come of making everything computer-dependent). I don't know if the delay rattled the Tigers or what, but things were pretty rough into the second half, when the team suddenly remembered who they were and started dominating. Will Barton is totally going to the NBA next year. He's amazing.

♥ I've been feeling really unmotivated and directionless. I think it's fine and even good to be more relaxed and open about life, but I don't even know where I should focus my energies, so I'm not gaining ground toward any of the things I want. I'm just kind of... existing. But I know the waiting is often where we learn the most. Part of it might be the season, too. Everything seems more bleak in January.

My Brother's Commercial

2012-01-21T11:00:00.000-06:00

My brother made a short commercial last month for a contest sponsored by Muddy Outdoors. This week, he was declared the winner! He'll receive cash, prizes, and a national run of his commercial (probably limited to the outdoor channels). Here's the video:

The World's Best Dad from KW Designs on Vimeo.

I think he did a great job of conveying a lot in just a few shots. I'm very proud of him!

Further Empowerment

2012-01-20T15:55:00.000-06:00

When I was in college, one of the books making the rounds was Lady In Waiting, a presentation of the book of Ruth as an ideal love story. It encouraged women to become more like Ruth (or at least the author's toned-down perception of her) in order to attract a Boaz. I read the book once and felt slightly icky. But Carolyn Custis James' book The Gospel of Ruth (which I finished last night) proves that relegating Ruth to a holy romance novel or dating advice book totally misses the point. CCJ makes a case for Ruth as an ezer-warrior who fearlessly trusted in God's love for her. Although her culture considered her worthless (she was a barren widow and a foreigner), she stepped out to provide for her beloved mother-in-law. The book also paints Naomi as a female Job, delving into her suffering and and what we can learn from her response. Also, rather than focus on Boaz as the sole hero and star of the show, CCJ proposes that Boaz, Naomi, and Ruth worked together as a team, commissioned by God, to save Naomi's family line and (unknowingly) give it a place in the lineage of Christ.

I was energized by this book. Having neither husband nor children - having lost a husband - I sometimes feel second-rate in the eyes of the Church. So I never tire of hearing things like:

A woman’s high calling as God’s image bearer renders her incapable of insignificance, no matter what has gone wrong in her life or how much she has lost. Even if her community shoves her aside, turns a deaf ear to the sound of her voice, or regards her as invisible — even if she is forced into a passive role in the community — she remains vital to God’s purposes and is a solid contributor anyway. She simply cannot be stopped.

For most of my adult life, I took the typical Reformed view of women's roles. That went really badly for me. I know truth is truth no matter what, but my experiences have definitely changed my thinking. I continue to study Christian thought on gender roles and I still haven't figured out exactly what I believe. I'm not a total complementarian anymore, but I don't embrace everything about egalitarianism. I'm still sort of taking it all in. What I do know is, I have a desire, maybe even a passion, to encourage and empower other women that wasn't there before my marriage and divorce. I have felt helpless, hopeless, sidelined, worthless, alone, and like a total failure as a woman of God, and I don't want any other woman to feel that way. Women and men have equal purpose and worth in the eyes of God, regardless of marital status, or the status of their marriages, or the size of their families. I loved this:

Boaz uses the same Hebrew word (hayil) for Ruth that the narrator used earlier to describe him as a man of valor — “the elite warrior similar to the hero of the Homeric epic.”Some Bible translators downsize the word to “noble character” or “excellence” here in reference to Ruth. Not so fast, say Hebrew experts. “When the term is used of a woman (Ruth 3:11; Prov. 12:4; and 31:10)19 it is translated ‘virtuous’ (ASV, RSV ‘worthy’ or ‘good’) but it may well be that a woman of this caliber had all the attributes of her male counterpart.”

And this:

When Naomi arrived in Bethlehem, she may have felt like a useless piece of driftwood that had washed up on the beach — a relic of a bygone golden era, a woman who had outlived her usefulness. In God’s eyes, she was still on active duty and the treasure of his heart. Her story has purpose written all over it, although the signals she receives from the culture and from her own heart tell her otherwise. She is unaware of the fact that, instead of setting her aside, God is readying her for a strategic kingdom mission.

Obviously this is a huge subject that can't be summed up in a blog post, but I wanted to share some thoughts. I highly recommend the book. I also appreciated this review, which made me give a few points a second thought.

Oh and a side note: this is the first book I read entirely on my Kindle! I already have another CCJ book (Half The Church) and a Booksneeze selection ready to go. Yay!

Jacksonville 2012

2012-01-19T10:32:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the blogging absence. I went to Jacksonville over MLK weekend to visit Bethany! I'd been to the area twice before - once with my sister when she was considering a job there, and one other time to see Bethany. So it's becoming one of my frequented cities. Jacksonville is on my very short list of places I would consider moving to. It's far enough north to have seasons, but it's still Florida!We had a very busy schedule this trip, which included:

Jacksonville Zoo. Bethany's son turned four on Saturday, so this was his birthday outing! It's a good zoo and I saw several animals I'd never seen before.

St. Augustine. We spent Sunday afternoon eating gelato (I had tiramisu and blueberry cheesecake) and exploring the historic Castillo San Marcos, which I didn't get to see when I was there before. It was a beautiful day, perfect for hanging out on the grounds. We saw a girl taking quinceanera photos - at first I thought she worked there and was in period costume! Her dress was a work of art.

The beach, of course. It was freezing, but communing with the ocean is a necessity for me. We saw several stranded starfish and rescued them (with dramatic utterances of "It matters to this one!").

After the beach, we had dinner at The Conch House. I went there with Debra years ago and am still thinking about their roasted pepper calamari. It was just as good as I remembered. I don't have pictures because I was too busy eating, but I highly recommend the place if you're in St. Augustine.

Used bookstore and Bethany's magical thrift store. I didn't buy any books for myself (gasp!), but I found enough great clothes at thrift that I had to borrow cash. :)

It was a great trip! I'm blessed to have several close friends who are very relaxing and easy to be around, and Bethany is one of them. I wish we lived closer.

It's hard to explain, but I feel a sense of rightness when I'm in Florida that I don't feel anywhere else. I really hate to quote Twilight (and from memory :P), but it's "like I'd been in pain and that pain had suddenly ceased." I start asking myself, why exactly do I not live here? Why do I choose not to be near the ocean and eat seafood and see palm trees every day? Of course, I love my life the way it is. But what I really want is to pick up all the people and things I love and transport them to the Atlantic coast. The end.

Playlist: Empowerment Workout Mix

2012-01-14T10:00:00.000-06:00

One of my greatest joys in life is creating mixes. As a child I "played DJ" (sometimes hanging over a fence and shouting in hopes that entire neighborhood would hear my "broadcast." Sorry, neighbors!). Looking back, it's not too surprising that I chose a broadcasting concentration in college, although my reasons were different by then. Nowadays DJs have little, if any, control over their programs or what they play, but I would have loved the job back in the pre-corporate day. Delilah gets on my last nerve - she has free rein to connect with people through music, yet chooses to play the same ten schlocky selections every night. If I were in front of that mike, I would really find the perfect song, and it wouldn't be "Because You Loved Me."

Anyway, I make special mixes for any occasion: road trips, friends' breakups, gatherings of three people at my house. So I'm going to start posting a topical playlist each month! Since a lot of people focus on exercise in January, here's my current walking/jogging playlist. I think of it as the Empowerment Mix, although a few of the songs don't fit the theme. But these are the tunes that get me moving consistently.

I'd love to offer this mix as a zip file, but being arrested by the RIAA is not on my list of New Year's resolutions. The songs are on my Spotify though. :)

Sewing 101

2012-01-12T10:00:00.000-06:00

My mother has been sewing since the age of ten. She made a lot of my clothes as I grew up, including my senior prom dress. Although she tried a few times to teach me sewing, my perfectionism and her natural genius were a terrible combination. It was too frustrating for me to struggle for hours on something she could do much better in five minutes. I didn't see the point.

A few years ago, I became interested in sewing very basic things. My mom helped me make a fleece pillowcase for a cat bed, and a wall hanging with pockets to hold hats and gloves. Using the machine was easier than I remembered. Over time I thought of more and more sewing tasks I'd like to be able to do. Then, a few months ago, I went to a crafting event hosted by a few women from my church. At one station we made scarves out of old T-shirts. I immediately saw many possibilities for the craft. Lindsey went to her sewing machine to bind up my scarf for me, and I thought, If I had a sewing machine, I could do things like this at home. That's it. It's time. So, knowing that my mom would be thrilled, I asked for and received a sewing machine for Christmas. :)

Crafting wasn't my only reason for wanting a machine. My fashion creativity has exceeded what's available for my budget and difficult body type. I see something, get inspired, and have an instant, specific mental picture of what I want. Then I waste many hours looking for it, and usually don't find it at all. I don't have delusions of making my entire wardrobe, but bringing a few mental pictures to life myself will be easier, cheaper, and more fulfilling.

I read good reviews of The Colette Sewing Handbook, so my mom added that to her gift. After reading it, I've concluded that while it is helpful, enjoyable, and beautiful to look at, it ought to be called The Perfectionist Sewing Handbook. The overall message is that if it's worth doing, it's worth doing right the first time. Buy top quality supplies. Make several cheap drafts of your garment until the fit is exactly right. Take months to make one item if you need to. While this is how I've operated for most of my life, nowadays I'm a little more low-key and don't mind learning from mistakes. (Plus, if the clothes are that fitted, what happens if you gain a few pounds? That's a new motivator.) My mom read the book before giving it to me, and told me not to be discouraged or feel pressured by it. She also said that in a lifetime of sewing, she's never used (or, in some cases, heard of) some of the recommended supplies. In any case, I'm happy to learn from both my mom and the book, and figure out what works for me.

Project #1 was a second fleece cat bed. My two cats have fought over the existing one since I made it. This was the most imperfect beginner project ever - just a square of fleece over a square pillow from Hancock's. I cut out the fleece using eyeball measurements (Gandalf was laying on it at the time), sewed three sides, flipped it, and put in a zipper. The zipper was backwards the first time, but my mom showed me what I did wrong and I fixed it easily. I felt like I had climbed Everest.

Project #2, completed Tuesday night, was a cover for my new Kindle. This pattern was also very inexact, adapted from a laptop cover pattern I saw on Pinterest. I used a measuring tape and tried to abide by the formula, but the cover came out a tiny bit short. (The mathy aspects of sewing will be my Waterloo.) I also didn't realize I needed a special tool to apply snaps, so I had to use Velcro dots instead. It'll do until I can make a better one. Preferably from a pattern meant for a Kindle. I have plenty of this fabric and batting, so I plan to make a camera case from it too.

As you can see, I'm purposely starting with simple, four-sided projects. :) Once I get more comfortable with those, I'll try basic garments. By spring I should be able to handle an A-line skirt. We'll see!

Wild on Wednesday: Sequins

2012-01-11T09:19:00.001-06:00

As soon as Thanksgiving was over last year, I was suddenly obsessed with sparkly, sequiny holiday clothing. I'm mostly over it now, which is for the best. Major sequins during the holidays is festive; major sequins in mid-January is Tina Turner. Then again, I think Tina Turner is pretty awesome.

I only bought two sequin tanks, and don't have photos of myself wearing either. But I know I'll want more sparkle when next winter rolls around, so here are some of the items I was longing for:

Old Navy

Express

One friend accurately described this
as a "Taylor Swift dress"

Business on the top, party on the bottom! :)

J. Crew

Madden Girl. Still regret not buying these at TJ Maxx.

Next year, my sewing skills should be developed enough to make myself a sequin skirt!

Street Corner Symphony

2012-01-10T11:01:00.000-06:00

My friends and I agree on one thing about the 2007 movie August Rush: if it had been about three minutes longer, it would have gone from "What a touching film" to "This movie changed my life." For that reason, I've only seen it once. But it's a testament to the power of the story that several scenes from it have stuck with me.

August is a musical prodigy, unknowingly orphaned by his musician parents, whose whole love story spanned only one night. (His mother was in an accident and was told that he died at birth.) He decides that his musical gifts are the key to finding his lost parents. His search leads him into the hands of a modern-day Miss Hannigan, played by Robin Williams, who makes talented kids perform on the streets for money. Thankfully, some good people recognize August's talent and whisk him away to Juilliard, happiness, and safety. But just as a better life is unfolding for him, Robin Williams intimidates him into re-joining his troupe. In one cut, August goes from conducting a symphony he composed to performing on top of a box on a dirty street corner. That scene grieved me more than any other in the movie, and it took me a while to figure out why.

How often do we let others keep us in a place that we've outgrown, or that wasn't right for us to begin with? Even worse, how often do we do it to ourselves? We stay in our cages because we don't want to disappoint others, or because it's just too scary to venture out. I've done it for those and many other reasons. I've encountered many people who encouraged me in my fear of change. But I'm learning to recognize when God is calling me on to something new, or telling me I've learned all I can in a particular area. As we grow, things that were comfortable and beneficial sometimes become oppressive - and that's okay. It's part of developing as a person, and nothing to feel guilty or scared about. Obviously I'm not talking about things that are meant to be permanent, like marriage. I'm talking about hobbies, jobs, clubs, churches, cities, even relationships. We're all works in progress. We all have comfortable corners that are meant for us, but once in a while, God calls us on to Juilliard. So if He calls you, go and conduct the symphony He meant you to write. Don't stay on the street corner, no matter how safe and familiar it may seem. It would be a sad shame.

(And I probably need to hear this more than any of you.)

Broccoli Pasta

2012-01-09T14:56:00.002-06:00

Now that the holidays are over, I'm trying to cut back on calories. Unfortunately, I'm in a bad cycle of having small dinners to compensate for a day of eating normally, then getting hungry and grazing until I would have been better off just eating a real meal. This recipe strikes a good balance. It's delicious and satisfying, but not guilt-inducing. I had some on Friday night... with a large glass of sangria. :P

Easiest Broccoli Pasta
Via Skinnytaste. Serves 6.

Ingredients:
12 oz. uncooked pasta
6 1/2 cups fresh broccoli florets (no stems)
5 cloves garlic, smashed and chopped (I tend to buy minced garlic in a jar and add it by the teaspoon)
1/4 cup grated Parmesan or Romano cheese
2 Tbsp olive oil

Directions:
1. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add pasta and broccoli at the same time, and follow the directions on the box for al dente pasta. When the pasta is done, reserve about a cup of the pasta water and set aside. Drain pasta and broccoli and set aside in a separate bowl.

2. Return the pot to the stove and set heat to high. Add one Tbsp olive oil. Once the oil is heated, add garlic and cook until golden.

3. Reduce heat to low and put pasta and broccoli back in the pot. Mix well, adding grated cheese, salt, and pepper. Add reserved pasta water to taste, continuing to mix well. Serve with additional grated cheese on the side.

I still haven't gotten back into a posting rhythm since my break, so thanks for bearing with me!

Blue > Orange

2012-01-05T13:36:00.001-06:00

Yesterday was my dad's birthday. And on HIS birthday, he was happy to take me to the big Memphis/UT game. He won free tickets at work... we definitely got our money's worth. :)

This was the Tigers' second game against UT this season - we already (barely) beat them at the Maui Invitational. Usually there are a lot of turncoats in the house at these rivalry matchups, but last night the Forum was a sea of blue. The atmosphere was amazing.

I knew from the warm-up that it would be a good game. The players were clearly, as my brother would say, "jacked." :) Even I've had to admit that the Tigers have been playing sloppy for weeks, and the defense has left a lot to be desired. But last night they played like the team we all knew they could be, wiping the floor with UT, 69-51.

As far as I'm concerned, no matter what happens from here, the season has been redeemed. I'm happy I got to share such an awesome experience with my dad!

Sorry for the blurriness... I just hate using flash. :)

New Year: Making Space

2012-01-03T15:55:00.001-06:00

Last week I shifted around my craft and scrapbooking supplies to make room for my new sewing machine. I was seized with a brief urge to pitch all my craft stuff, because I couldn't remember the last time I'd really done anything with it. It was saddening proof that I don't have time for the creative things I already enjoy... so how will I work learning to sew into my life? Sewing isn't a skill you can develop overnight.

As I've mentioned, my life is overscheduled, and has been for some time. I live in a constant state of chasing my own tail. I never stop feeling behind. My days are all accounted for in advance. If a block of time opens up, I fill it with a new commitment. Sometimes that's just how life is and you can't change it, but right now, I have the freedom to choose. I decided then and there, among my scraps and stamps, that something HAS to go. I've faithfully attended a Tuesday night line dancing class for over four years. I still love dancing, but I've grown bored with learning the same beginner dances over and over. So I'm taking January off, and instituting Tuesday Night Sewing and Craft Time. I started last night, and it was just as fun and refreshing as I had hoped. (It's also an opportunity to work on not people-pleasing, since my instructor gets huffy when people are absent and has already asked where I was.)

My 2012 resolution is to create space in my life. It's opposite the do-more spirit of resolutions, but it'll be harder to see through than any "more" I could assign myself. I'm good at more. I'm good at overloading myself and somehow powering through it. But powering through isn't exactly abundant living. I think it's time to make room for freedom and spontaneity. To give my brain a little creative space to breathe. I sense that 2012 will be a recharging and refocusing year in some ways.

What I Did On My Christmas Vacation

2012-01-03T15:54:00.000-06:00

our local musical light display

Partly thanks to the convenient placement of the holidays in 2011, I just had ten days off from work! It was the first staycation I've taken in ten years of cubicle dwelling. Here's a recap:

+ Christmas 2011 was a success! My parents, brother, and grandma attended my church with me on Christmas Eve, but we didn't go on Christmas Day because Debra and Lance arrived mid-morning. As usual, my parents were excessively generous with gifts. I got a sewing machine (you'll be hearing much more about that), AND an electric leaf blower and electric edger that are super easy to use. Not sure what it says about me that I'm equally excited about craft and yard implements.

+ For New Year's Eve, my parents, brother, and I had dinner downtown at Pearl's Oyster House and went to the Tigers game. We arrived back at my parents' just in time to see the NYC ball drop on TV. At our midnight, we switched to the guitar drop on Beale Street (and the "Moon Pie Drop" out of Mobile - did anyone else see that?!?). I was home in bed by around 1 am. As far as I'm concerned, it was an almost perfect NYE.

+ On New Year's Day, we had one midmorning service at church, which was an absolutely perfect kickoff to the year. Then I hosted an open house/late brunch. About 20 people came and everyone seemed to have a GREAT time. I feel loved and blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life. ♥ We didn't do a craft this year, but I made a simple backdrop for photo ops:

+ Before my sister went back to Nashville, I got to feel my niece kick for the first time! It was amazing. (She has a name now, but it's not public yet.)

+ I bought a Kindle Touch the day after Christmas. It felt indulgent and impulsive, but I'd been thinking about it for a long time. Now I can participate in BookSneeze and other stuff for book bloggers. I'm still totally Team Real Books, but I'm excited to have an e-reader for vacations, rare books, giveaways, flash sales, that kind of thing.

+ I also bought long-awaited faux wood window blinds, and they look wonderful. I'm thrilled that the days of yucky beige aluminum blinds, and cats rattling them in the night, are over!(Pictures to come.)

+ One of my vacation goals was to see movies, something I never do anymore. I watched We Bought A Zoo, One Day, Tangled, and Dolphin Tale, and enjoyed them all. My mom was amused that I described Dolphin Tale as "surprisingly emotional," but it was. I was a mess for at least a third of it. (If you'd ever seen my dolphin-and-whale-covered childhood bedroom, this would make more sense.)

+ I enjoyed long lunches with Nell at Cafe Eclectic, and Caroline at Petra Cafe. Both places were on my list of restaurants I wanted to check out.

+ I went to the Brooks Museum to catch an exhibit of 1950s Everglades etchings. The other exhibits were cool too. I'd like to go to art museums more often.

+ I ate way, way too much. I exercised most days, but I don't think it was enough to counteract the constant desserts and dips (and wheels of Brie). The post-holiday soup and salad diet starts this week. :P

I hope everyone got at least some holiday time off! How were your breaks?

December Book List

2012-01-02T10:37:00.000-06:00

Yearning: Living Between How It Is and How It Ought to Be by Craig Barnes
This book took me a long time to complete, partly because I didn't make much progress until I put the highlighter down. In a way, it's The Allure of Hope 202 - a lot of the same themes are addressed, but more deeply and less optimistically. However, the hopefulness increases as the book goes on. These are good, solid thoughts to revisit in the future.

Amy and Roger's Epic Detour by Morgan Matson
Amy's dad recently died in a car accident - and she thinks it's her fault. Her mom asks Roger, an old family friend, to drive Amy cross country on a pre-arranged route to her family's new home in Connecticut. When the kids decide to take a detour, a very different journey begins. It's a touching, endearing, and funny story with likable characters, and I wouldn't mind a Roger of my own. :)

The Saturday Big Tent Wedding Party by Alexander McCall Smith
In this 12th installment of the No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, Mma Ramotswe sees the ghost of her old white van, investigates a cattle-related mystery, and helps one of the mechanic apprentices with a big problem. Meanwhile, Mma Makutsi prepares for her long-awaited wedding. I love this series!

Books for December: 3
2011 TOTAL: 71

I was hoping to hit at least 75 books for the year, but considering my schedule and the heaviness of many of my selections, I probably did well to make it this far. I bought a Kindle the day after Christmas (more on that later), so we'll see if that boosts my numbers for 2012! Either way, it's all about the love of reading, not numbers. :)

First Post of 2012

2012-01-01T23:04:00.001-06:00

Sorry I haven't been posting more, but I'm on staycation! More to come, though - I have LOTS of news and thoughts to share.

Praying for a 2012 that exceeds expectations!

The 2011 Survey

2011-12-29T14:00:00.000-06:00

I do the same year-end survey every year. I'd be really interested to read some of yours!

1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
Bought a Mac; auditioned for a national game show, and danced alone in front of several hundred people; ran, both individually and in two 5Ks (though not the whole thing); visited the Pacific Northwest; got paid for my writing!!!; had professional portraits taken; hired a lawn service (totally worth it); joined Twitter; celebrated Thanksgiving with someone else's family; tried a Shellac manicure; took a staycation; pulled off more than one surprise party; sponsored a Compassion child.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My main resolution was to keep a thankfulness journal and write down a few specific things I was thankful for each day. I missed days, but always caught up later. I'm glad to have the list to look back on. I also wanted "to continue doing new things and taking chances." MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

I think my 2012 resolution will be to make space in my life. I took this entire week off from work and am still stressed out. It's made me very aware of how insanely overscheduled my life is, and it needs to stop, for many reasons. The hard part will be not letting people guilt or shame me into re-committing to things or being busier again.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My best friend from college, Emily, had Jameson. My cousin Brooke had Jake. Another friend (who lives in Knoxville) had twin girls. And the real baby bonanza is still to come!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit?
As usual, I didn’t leave the country. But I did visit FOUR new states: Indiana, Oregon, Washington, and Utah. (Utah was just a layover, but I say it counts!)

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked this year?
A better job situation… and a man in my life. Even just one nice date would be great.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
September 3 – the day my sister announced she was pregnant!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Becoming a "real," "professional" writer, even though I still don't feel like one!

9. What was your biggest failure?
I can't think of anything specific. I'm a general work in progress.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
The usual series of ear and sinus infections. Nothing serious.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Can I list three? My new-to-me oven, my bike, and my Macbook Pro.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My immediate family and close friends. That's a cop-out, but I'm blessed with so many wonderful people.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Eh, they know who they are. Or would if they cared enough to think about it.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Other than bills… travel and my bathroom remodel. And probably clothes. :|

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Having my bathroom remodeled! Going to the Keys with my parents. Going to Oregon. My good audition for Wheel of Fortune. Also, 2011 was definitely a year of restored relationships! I reconnected with two long-lost best friends and one of my favorite cousins.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Here you go!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
About the same, to all.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Honestly? Relaxing and having unstructured time. I'm thankful I got to travel and experience things and really suck the marrow out of life this year, but it's not working for me as a permanent lifestyle.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying. Although I am getting better.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
With my parents, siblings, and grandma here at home! I love not traveling for Christmas.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
I fell in love with my church. Seriously. I've never felt such fulfillment and a sense of purpose and belonging. I had pretty much given up on ever having this kind of experience. I'm so thankful.

22. What concerts did you attend this year?
Taylor Swift and Needtobreathe (plus several surprise guests) in Nashville! Sara Bareilles at Minglewood Hall. Hanson at the Delta Fair. Also, Bebo Norman at the Levitt Shell and Matthew Smith at my church. And I was honored to be at Myla's first performance at the Bluebird Café in Nashville!

I also got to meet Robin Jones Gunn (in Oregon) and Angela Thomas (here in town) and hear them speak. They both signed my books, too! Meeting authors I admire is always a huge deal for me.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
So You Think You Can Dance is appointment viewing when it's in season. Other than that, the only shows I keep up with consistently are Glee, New Girl, Whitney and Saturday Night Live.

24. Do you dislike anyone now whom you didn't dislike this time last year?
Not that I can think of.

25. What was the best book you read?
Fiction: Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins; Goliath by Scott Westerfeld; The Help by Kathryn Stockett; The Luxe series by Anna Godbersen; 13 Little Blue Envelopes by Maureen Johnson
Non-fiction: Grace for the Good Girl by Emily Freeman; Bossypants by Tina Fey; Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg; Flying Solo by Denise Hildreth Jones

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Needtobreathe. My brother first played their music for me in May, and now I have all three of their albums.

27. What did you want and get?
See #11. These were my answers to "What did you want and not get?" last year. I also bought long-awaited faux wood window blinds and a Kindle just this week. I'm so spoiled.

28. What did you want and not get?
See #6. Oh and a Dyson Animal vacuum.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Deathly Hallows Part 2. Perfectly done.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 32. I went to work, but had lunch with Alanna and Myla at Newk's. Then I had dinner at my parents' house and we went to see The Help.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I'm pretty satisfied with this year, but it would have been great to make it onto Wheel of Fortune! I still have no idea what I did "wrong." Oh well.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
I'm officially tired of this question! My personal fashion concept stays pretty much the same. "Smart casual" with a dose of quirkiness. Also scarves.

33. What kept you sane?
Probably my daily phone talks with my sister as we both drive home from work. If I didn't have her to tell about my day, I would be a lot lonelier.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
The Duke and Duchess of Windsor are so sweet and classy. :) On the other end of the spectrum, I'm weirdly fascinated by Nicki Minaj. She's out there like Lady Gaga, but in a more endearing, approachable way.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The lack of an exceptional Republican Presidential candidate. Is it really too late to start over? :P

36. Who did you miss?
The usual people who don't live here, plus my brother, who moved to Indiana in June. It's been a sad adjustment not to see him as much.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
I joined a small group at church entirely made up of people I barely knew or had never met. They've all turned out to be awesome. I love it when that happens!

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
I kind of learned this last year, but it's been reinforced: Don't speculate or make decisions based on how you might feel about something in the future. You never know how God will change your heart over time.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I turn the music up, I got my records on
From underneath the rubble sing a rebel song
Don't want to see another generation drop
I'd rather be a comma than a full stop
Maybe I’m in the black, maybe I’m on my knees
Maybe I’m in the gap between the two trapezes
But my heart is beating and my pulses start
Cathedrals in my heart.
- Coldplay, Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall

2011 Soundtrack

2011-12-28T23:28:00.001-06:00

After much deliberation...

If you're on Spotify, this soundtrack is uploaded to my account. If I know you in person and you want an actual CD, let me know. I purposely limit the playlist to the length of a CD - otherwise I could never narrow it down!

1. Radioactive - Kings of Leon
To me, this song is what going fast on a boat would sound like if it was translated to music. :) Add the references to family and "the water where you came from," and it basically plays over a photo montage of my childhood in my head.

2. Strip Me - Natasha Bedingfield
One of the MANY empowering pop songs I loved this year.

3. Rolling In The Deep - Adele
This was the most covered song of 2011 for a reason. Despite the overexposure, I'm still not tired of it. I loved the video too.

4. Take Me Or Leave Me - Glee Cast
I've performed this in the car (and the shower) countless times.

5. Die Alone - Ingrid Michaelson
Yeah. I can relate.

6. Animal - Neon Trees
I just generally love this.

7. Why Do You Let Me Stay Here - She & Him
In a sense, I dedicate this to the entire male race. :P

8. Bright Lights Bigger City - Cee-Lo Green
This song must have subliminal messages, because it makes me feel carefree and like a million bucks. I heard it in many dressing rooms this year, so I doubt I'm the only one who responds to it. If anyone ever needed me to model, they could play this (and hand me these shoes) and I could OWN IT all the way down the runway.

9. Super Bass - Nicki Minaj
I cannot explain my love for this song. It just makes me happy.

10. Ready to Start - Arcade Fire
One of only two Arcade Fire songs that truly grab me.

11. Machine Gun - Sara Bareilles
Sara Bareilles wrote this about one of her critics (Sara being on the receiving end of the machine gun). I often listened to it with my own everyday critics in mind. :|

12. Good Life - OneRepublic
On one of my many drives to Nashville, this song came on the radio and really defined my jet-setting summer.

13. Why Don't We Just Dance - Josh Turner
Josh Turner is dreamy. We do a dance to this at line dancing that's my current favorite dance. It's really swingy.

14. Pumped Up Kicks - Foster The People
People seem to either love or hate this song. Well, I love it. I read that Mark Foster purposely wrote it to combine gangsta rap-esque lyrics with a mellow melody. Weird juxtapositions are irresistible to me.

15. Captive - Sarah Harmer
My most-played from the brilliant album Oh Little Fire. It was hard to pick just one!

16. Momma's Boy - Elizabeth & The Catapult
E & the C (as they're known on Twitter) opened for Sara Bareilles on her Kaleidoscope Heart tour. I liked them right away.

17. Baggage Claim - Miranda Lambert
Like many Miranda tunes, this makes me smile uncontrollably and thank God for, uh, lost luggage. :) It's already on my mental karaoke short list.

18. Hurts Like Heaven - Coldplay
Again, almost impossible to choose just one from Mylo Xyloto, but I keep coming back to this. Use your heart as a weapon!

19. Valley of Tomorrow - Needtobreathe
I first heard of Needtobreathe in May. A few months later, I owned all of their albums. They're amazing. 2011 has been a year of soul-searching and re-direction for me, and I like the final song of my soundtrack to summarize the old year AND set a tone for the new one. This pretty much does it.

Merry Christmas To All

2011-12-25T10:00:00.000-06:00

Christmas Cookies

2011-12-21T09:00:00.000-06:00

Cookie bags from Hobby Lobby

It's my annual Christmas Cookie Frenzy! Every year I bake tons of cookies to hand out to my co-workers (and anyone else who needs a little happy). I overbake on purpose - I figure as long as I'm doing the work, I might as well go big and have some left over for myself too.I always bake molasses cookies from a tried and true Martha Stewart recipe. Then I add one or two other kinds of cookies. This year I made Pillsbury slice-and-bake "sugar peppermint" cookies, plus Jumbo Chocolate Crinkles. FYI, the crinkles are indeed jumbo, but they mostly rise up rather than out. So if you make them, don't worry about them colliding on the cookie sheet. That was a big relief at about 11:00 last night. :)

Do you have Christmas cookie traditions? :)

Put On Your Yarmulke

2011-12-20T14:37:00.001-06:00

Happy Hanukkah to any Jewish readers in the house!

The Anniversary Party

2011-12-19T14:47:00.002-06:00

Today my parents celebrate 35 years of marriage! My sister and I really wanted to do something for their 35th anniversary, but our plans kept getting thwarted. Finally, running on pure determination and excellent teamwork, we threw together a surprise anniversary party in about a week. It wasn't as elaborate as it would have been if I'd had a month to plan, but I think it actually worked out better that way!

Debra came to Memphis on Friday night and helped me with last-minute preparations. Our parents didn't know she was in town. I had told them I'd be picking them up for a surprise around noon, but Debra was the one who pulled up in their driveway! She blindfolded them and took a meandering drive back to my house, where a bunch of their friends were waiting. They were VERY surprised!

Debra brought her wedding veil for my mom to wear at the party, and I made a felt-rose boutonniere for my dad. (One circle of felt and a glue gun. Couldn't be easier.)

We had a light soup and salad lunch. I made Ina Garten's Italian Wedding Soup (get it?), which was enjoyed by all - I'll definitely make it again. After lunch we played a round of the Not-So-Newlywed Game. :) Although both of my parents forgot some things about their marriage, they both correctly answered "What is the first thing your spouse does when he/she wakes up in the morning?" even though my mom never gets up before my dad leaves for work. That's oneness right there.

Of course, we had cake and champagne! I felt too overwhelmed to bake a cake from scratch, so Debra brought a delicious Publix bakery cake from Nashville. If you see the "Lemon Infusion" cake at Publix, I highly recommend it. (We almost had a Cake Wreck, though - the bakery worker had to be reminded how to spell "Anniversary.")

Since Kevin and Lance (my brother and brother-in-law) couldn't be there, we printed out photos of their heads so they could appear to be participating. LOL!

The decorations were my favorite part (and also the most time-consuming). I smuggled some old photo albums out of my parents' house, scanned an assortment of pictures, and reprinted them in black and white so they'd look uniform. Then we hung twine clotheslines around the living room and attached the pictures with clothespins. Everyone enjoyed looking at them! We also made a giant banner - actually, Debra did most of the work on that.

My dad's friend volunteered to take a group picture, then snapped away like a paparazzo even though no one was ready. Things got pretty crazy, but we ended up with a couple of good shots.

All in all, the party was a success and my parents had a great time! I'm very thankful for their strong relationship. If not for their great example, I'm honestly not sure if I could keep believing in marriage. I don't take it for granted.

The Price of Success

2011-12-15T14:40:00.002-06:00

Last weekend, I had a great long talk with a close friend, curled up on my couch with tasty beverages. We discussed many things, but kept coming back to our goals, decisions to be made, how we're supposed to discover and live out our purpose. As usual, talking things out helped me solidify my thoughts on a few subjects. Here's one:

As we grew up, and now, my generation was taught that success or failure in any venture is solely based on how badly you want it. We can be or do anything we set our minds to as long as we're willing to do whatever it takes. While determination and a good attitude are key to success, I have a couple of problems with this philosophy.

♦ It tells us that if we don't achieve something we want, it's 100% our own fault. But even the most determined, sacrificing people can miss their dreams due to circumstances totally out of their control. Like Olympic athletes who sustain an injury at the last minute, or trip over a broken shoelace one lap into a race. And every great success has an element of what many would call luck, and I would call God or the Holy Spirit. The old friend from college who knows a person who's hiring for your dream job. The chance meeting in a checkout line with the man you'll eventually marry. The record producer who happens into the dive bar you're playing on the last song of your set. The great painting or essay that seems to flow out through you from somewhere else. These are things we can't force or control, and they often determine the outcome.

♦ It leads to idolatry. A hyper-focus on one goal isn't healthy. Even if we could get whatever we wanted via willingness to do anything and give up everything, I don't think we should. In fact, I've come to believe it takes more strength to set boundaries, to decide what you are and are not willing to do in pursuit of something. To be true to who you are and what you believe, and trust God to take care of the rest. Drawing a line can look like weakness, but it's not. As I "step out" in my own life, I'm having to make these kinds of decisions, and knowing where my boundaries are is helpful. If I never achieve the things I'm hoping for, I know I'll blame myself to some degree. But I believe that ultimately, I'll have peace because I didn't compromise what was important to me.

The problem my friend and I are left with is, how do you know when you've done enough? If you've put yourself out there and are doing what you can, and the things you want still aren't happening, should you just accept it or is it your own fault for not trying harder? What do "enough" and "trying" even mean? It's impossible. Maybe I should stop trying to figure it out, and rest for a while in God's grace and love for me and sovereignty over my life. Despite my typical feelings, He's not sighing and tapping His foot waiting for me to solve the mystery. He doesn't expect me to navigate a trail with no map. He is the Shepherd and He's leading me, His sheep, and as long as I listen to His voice, I'll get where I need to be.

Thanks for listening to my disorganized thoughts. I'm going off on these random tangents more and more often, so maybe I should make it a thing. Soapbox Thursday?

Wild on Wednesday: Holiday Recipes

2011-12-14T12:24:00.001-06:00

In keeping with the season, I've been cooking and baking for a lot of events. Here are links to some recent winning recipes! I keep forgetting to take photos of the finished products, so I haven't posted about them individually.

Cornbread Muffins - I don't have a cast-iron skillet, and it was harder than expected to find a cornbread recipe that didn't require one. This version is adaptable to different pans, including my special cast-iron pan in the shape of little corn cobs!

Spinach Dip - This is the best cold spinach dip I've ever had. I literally threw away my other recipes after tasting it. It's creamy, but with a little kick thanks to the cumin.

Spinach Artichoke Dip - An excellent hot spinach dip option! I found this one on Pinterest (and am now subscribed to Brown Eyed Baker. Could be dangerous). You can mix up this dip the night before and then heat just before serving. Since I regularly go to events straight from work, I appreciate recipes like that.

Spiced Applesauce Cake with Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting - My mom paid me to make this for a Christmas party at her workplace. Unfortunately, everyone was on a diet (at Christmas?), so a lot was left over, but then I got to try some and it was delicious. You can't go wrong with Smitten Kitchen.

Enjoy!

Opryland Christmas

2011-12-13T14:14:00.002-06:00

Last weekend, my parents and I met my brother (and of course, my sister and brother-in-law, who live there) in Nashville. We aren't all together very often anymore, so family time is more special than it used to be! The reason for our trip was the children's Christmas program at Debra and Lance's church (Lance is the children's pastor), but we also continued our Nashville Christmas tradition of going to Opryland Hotel to see the lights. Last year, the hotel had just reopened after the historic floods, and we kept exclaiming "I saw a picture of this spot underwater!" This year's visit was a little lighter on awe, but still great. :)

My mom and Kevin at the poinsettia tree.

Posing with my sock monkey scarf with attached mittens!

Debra and Pops have a rest and a snack.

In the Cascades

Next year I think we'll go later and hang around longer. The people-watching is great. Last year we witnessed a proposal! I think Opryland at Christmas would be an amazing place to get engaged.

Decking The Halls 2011

2011-12-09T09:02:00.001-06:00

I keep my Christmas decorating pretty simple. Over the last couple of years, I've pared down my Christmas stuff a LOT. I realized that most of it was handed down or given to me, and didn't reflect my taste - and also, that there was too much of it. So this December, I'm continuing to invest in new Christmas decor that I can enjoy for years to come.

First order of business: my new Christmas tree! I've had fake trees all my life, except for a couple of Christmases with my college and post-college roommate, Kathy, who grew up with real ones. My most recent fake tree was a Target base model. It was fine, but kind of short and not realistic-looking at all. This fall I started entertaining the idea of a pre-lit tree, because putting lights on the tree is not my forte. I found one I loved at Hobby Lobby, but was aghast at the $200 sale price. So I had given up, and was in the process of taking out my old tree, when I got a Bed Bath & Beyond circular with the exact same tree for $80 (plus 20% off coupon). I was out the door minutes later and snapped up the last one in stock. It's 7.5 feet, pre-lit, and has little pinecones on it. I LOVE IT.

This larger tree is just perfect for this number of ornaments! I don't like the tree to look too cluttery. Oh, and the old tree has found a happy new home at my brother's apartment in Indiana. :)

Inspired by this P. Allen Smith wreath, I did a total overhaul of my fake Christmas wreath (it used to have poinsettias on it). Cost: $3 for the new ribbon. Turns out I have zero bow-tying skills - this was the best I could do after several demonstrations from one of my crafty co-workers.

I'm in a trifle-dish-centerpiece rut, but it's just so easy! Both placemats are from Bed Bath & Beyond. I've looked everywhere for a nice table runner, and now have plans to make a copycat version of a Williams-Sonoma one I saw for next year.

This is the Nativity I grew up with. (My parents gave it to me after my dad bought a hand-carved set in Bethlehem. Seriously.) It's a little rustic, but that seems appropriate. I also think it goes well under my Hope platter. :)

I feel like my mantel needs something extra (garlands?), but at the same time I like the plain look. The Lenox holly votive lamps were gifts. Fake amaryllis; tin vase borrowed from my parents. The cat stockings are from Target, and I found my beautiful velvet stocking for $2 last year at the Pottery Barn outlet. (I bought two as a statement of faith.) I want to get it embroidered with my name or a B.

By the time I bought the stockings, PB Outlet was out of the matching tree skirt. This year I decided that if I didn't track down that tree skirt, I would regret it forever. So I found and bought one on eBay! It was definitely a splurge, but again, I plan to enjoy it for many years.

I wouldn't normally post such a blurry picture, but this one cracks me up. Gandalf was sitting on top of the fridge, and I was trying to get a shot of him with the (fake) mistletoe. Classic. I have lots of cute cat Christmas photos to post another day.

The Road Not Taken

2011-12-08T14:57:00.001-06:00

Until I got divorced, I always saw job and career as a temporary thing.

I was raised in a very traditional home. Although my mom has a degree and could have chosen other things, she chose to stay home with me and my younger siblings. She got a part-time job once my brother was in school, but we were always her priority. My parents taught me that in a marriage, the man is responsible for providing financially no matter what it takes. The woman is responsible for taking care of the family. If the woman also works, it should be her own choice, only in a situation that's good for the family as a whole, and not because she has to to keep things afloat. They encouraged me and my sister to get plenty of education and work experience, but mainly as a safety net... in case anything ever happened. In my mind, at least, "anything" was basically limited to a tragic accident leaving me a widow with kids. It never occurred to me that I might not marry or have kids. Or that my husband would walk out on me, with or without kids.

In any case, I was in agreement with the whole philosophy. Even now I don't completely disagree with it (for myself - I don't believe one size fits all, I'm not telling anyone else how to live. This is just my story). I also want to disclaim that I'm thankful for the way I was raised and the sacrifices my parents made so I could have a good childhood. I'm not pointing any fingers.

BUT. These core beliefs led to regrettable decisions. I knew I wanted to be a writer from a very young age, but even as a kid, I was also very concerned about security. Even then, I knew I probably couldn't make a living writing, and relegated it to a permanent hobby. My parents encouraged me toward business-type career paths - jobs that would provide stability and a good income until I inevitably got married and started a family. In college I went down a couple of rabbit trails like meteorology and geography, but those didn't pan out or were discouraged. I finally majored in Communications as a compromise - it was applicable to a lot of fields, many of them in business, but was also something I enjoyed. Still, I had no big picture, no long-term career goals. In a sense, I was afraid to have long-term career goals. I didn't want to fall in love with something and then deeply resent my future children (or even my future husband) for tearing me away from it. So I had no motivation to think too hard about what to do for the rest of my life. As far as full-time work went, I thought "the rest of my life" would only encompass a few years. I wish the "Mistake Guy" from Scrubs had paid me a visit.

Ten years later, I'm still working at the first job that was offered to me after college. I'm very thankful for many aspects of this job, not least of which that it allowed me financial independence when the unthinkable "anything" happened. But if I'd had a whole world of options and a different mindset at 22, this isn't what I would be doing. Lately I feel like I'm waking up from a lifelong sleep, like I've been unplugged from the Matrix and am seeing my real hands for the first time and wondering what they can do. It took me longer than most people to figure out who I am; who God made me to be, instead of what other people wanted me to be. So now the question is, what do I want in a career? What do I need? What did God make me to do? I'm wrestling with things I should have wrestled with a long time ago. I feel behind. I feel stuck. I regret lost time and choices that hinged on something I have very little control over.

I'm not sure how I feel about the concept of "calling." I think it's overused in Christian circles and usually results in more pressure than anything else, and more pressure is the last thing anyone needs. But, for lack of a better word, I want to pursue my callings and interests and continue developing in them for the rest of my life. Even if I do get to be a wife again, and then a mother, those callings won't negate the ones I already have.

I believe that "having it all," as society presents it to women, is a lie that hurts us rather than helps us. We can't have it all, and we'll kill ourselves trying. But we can be whole, well-rounded individuals at every stage of life. We may need to express our callings in different ways, but they'll still be there.

My point is this: women, don't wait to figure out and pursue what you love. Try different things and let yourself make some mistakes. Don't be afraid to invest in your future. Don't spend years running laps when you could have been clocking mileage in the marathon of your life. I wish I had taken that advice years ago. I wish I could take it fully now. I know it's never too late to make changes, but there's a lot more at stake than there used to be.

Wild On Wednesday

2011-12-07T08:50:00.001-06:00

I'm participating again in Lauren's Wild on Wednesday! Here are some things I'm wild about this week:

Snow! We got an inch or so this morning! In the many years I've lived here, we've never had TWO sticking snows before Christmas (the first one happened last week). It's the perfect kind, too - fluffy and not sticking to the street. To me, the fresh beauty of snow is the only thing that makes the cold worthwhile. :)

I just got my first Shellac manicure last night. My mom gave me a Groupon for this mani-pedi for my birthday... in August. I have ridgy problem nails and was very hesitant to try the Shellac, but the owner and manicurist, Lauren, assured me that it wouldn't damage my nails and might even help. Here's hoping. The polish is supposed to last for up to a month without chipping. It was surreal to stick my hand under a light for a few seconds and instantly have totally dry, glass-smooth nails. Anyway, I recommend Graffiti Nail Bar - I was inspired by Lauren, who created and is running a successful salon by herself and is also developing a line of natural beauty products. Girls run the world!

The Talk. A few weeks ago, the TVs in my company's exercise room reverted to basic cable (some problem with the digital box?), and I couldn't watch my usual shows on the elliptical anymore. After several sessions of boredom, I found The Talk and haven't looked back since. I remember I was annoyed by it when it started, but they've replaced a couple of the original hosts, and the new lineup is golden. Each of these ladies is smart, funny, cool, and interesting, and they treat each other with respect despite their very different viewpoints. I love it! And believe me, I'm surprised too.

Fiber One Chocolate Mocha bars. Forget about the whole fiber thing - these are totally addictive. I've eaten them for breakfast, snacks, and even dessert (they go well with hot chocolate). This flavor isn't available everywhere, so when I find it, I usually buy several boxes!

All Summer In A Day

2011-12-06T11:20:00.000-06:00

Many of us who work office jobs this time of year can go days without seeing the sun. Especially if it's constantly overcast, as it's been here lately. It's pretty depressing. (I don't know how night-shift workers manage.) My sister and I often compare our situation to the Ray Bradbury short story "All Summer In a Day." As in, "We're on that planet where the sun comes out once every seven years." We both read this story, and saw the movie version, sometime in late elementary school or early middle school - and were both scarred for life. It's a brilliant story with excellent discussion points, but neither of us has ever gotten past the horror of only seeing the sun once every seven years. Or being kept from seeing it even then. I thought maybe we, as native Floridians and SAD sufferers, were oversensitive, but every time Debra mentions it to someone, they remember being upset by it too.

So readers: did you read or watch "All Summer In a Day" in school? Has it affected you long-term, or not? :)

By the way, I got a sun lamp last winter (on clearance at Walgreens) and it's really helped me! I keep it on my desk and turn it on for about an hour a day during the dark months. With the lamp, I feel perkier and sleep better. I also heard that the FDA just increased the "safe" dosage of Vitamin D, but I don't know the particulars yet.

Italian Chicken Chowder

2011-12-04T13:00:00.000-06:00

I can't believe I haven't posted this soup recipe here before, because among many beloved soup recipes, it's my favorite. I think I originally saw it on the Kraft or Campbell's website. I can make it from memory. It's my go-to dinner for last-minute company, because it's fast and you can double or triple it with hardly any effort. It covers all the food groups. With a can of crescent rolls, it's a respectable meal. Most importantly, it's so delicious that I usually burn my mouth trying to eat it right out of the pot. This soup will CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

Italian Chicken Chowder
Serves 2-3.

Ingredients:
1/4 cup Italian salad dressing (I love the Kroger Zesty Italian that you can get for a dollar)
1/2 pound chicken breast, chopped
1 14.5-oz can stewed tomatoes, undrained
1 cup chicken broth
1 medium zucchini, chopped
1/2 cup elbow macaroni, uncooked
1 tsp dried basil leaves
1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

Directions:
1. Heat dressing in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add chicken and cook for 3 minutes, stirring once.

2. Add broth, stewed tomatoes with juices, zucchini, macaroni, and basil. Bring to a boil over high heat.

3. Reduce heat to medium and simmer for about 8 minutes, or until macaroni is tender. Ladle into bowls and sprinkle with shredded cheese.

My Favorite Movies: Deep Impact

2011-12-02T10:32:00.001-06:00

I thought I had concluded the Favorite Movies series with my all-time fave, but lately another personal classic has been on my mind: the 1998 drama Deep Impact.

Deep Impact was one of two Comet Apocalypse movies released around the same time. The other was Armageddon, which I've only seen once in its entirety (and don't plan to repeat). While Armageddon was more of an action movie, Deep Impact took the human-interest perspective. I've probably said before that one of my favorite elements in any story is a cast of diverse, unrelated characters who are slowly weaved together by the events of the plot. Mix well with Comet Apocalypse, network broadcasting, estranged families reuniting, the space program, young love, and President Morgan Freeman, and you can't fight me off with a stick.

I'm aware that this movie will never make any critical best lists. There's plenty of cheese, and the line delivery of Tea Leoni's dad leaves a lot to be desired. But the ensemble cast is hard to beat. Pre-Frodo Elijah Wood! Laura Innes at the peak of her Dr. Weaver days. Leelee Sobieski. Blair Underwood. Robert Duvall. Again, Tea Leoni, who's always terribly underrated. And did I mention Morgan Freeman? I wouldn't vote for him personally for President, but I'd totally vote for his character.

Deep Impact is also my guaranteed weeping movie. When one doomed character presses his hand to a screen showing his infant son and tells him to "be good..." I lose it every single time.

It's been a while since I watched this. Maybe I'll take out the DVD tonight!

November Book List

2011-12-01T09:16:00.001-06:00

City of Fallen Angels and Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare
CFA is the fourth book in the ongoing Mortal Instruments series (modern fantasy set in NYC), and CA is the first in the related, but stand-alone, Infernal Devices series (set in London during the Victorian era). I really enjoyed both, but CA captured me in a way that CFA didn't. I can't wait to see where that trilogy goes. :) As I said in my Goodreads review, I was a big fan of CC's epic Harry Potter fanfiction before she got signed, and it's cool to see many of the same themes and character traits emerging in new ways. It's like getting a glimpse of old friends.

Bossypants by Tina Fey
This stream-of-consciousness-ish memoir is hilarious (I LOLed repeatedly) and insightful. Tina discusses her childhood and family, how she got into comedy, her years on SNL and the birth of 30 Rock, and what the whole Sarah Palin thing was like - plus several random funny stories. She also shares great thoughts on womanhood and what improv teaches us about life. I think she's brilliant, and am encouraged by how much I relate to her in some ways. :) Five stars!

Once Was Lost by Sara Zarr
Anyone who's ever had the rug ripped out from under them will relate to this honest novel. Sam's mother is in rehab, and her pastor dad is in denial and making some bad decisions. After a member of the youth group is kidnapped, Sam doesn't feel like she can trust anything or anyone - including God. As a Christian brought up in the church, I think the setting, tone, and perspective of this book are perfect. I admire Sara Zarr's serious treatment of Christian culture without turning it into a cliche or a parody. That's not easy to do! This is an excellent read for those who believe, those in doubt, and those who have walked away from faith.

Books for November: 4
2011 year to date: 68

One more reading note: if you like book blogs, I highly recommend Good Books and Good Wine. April is very entertaining. :) This blog actually gave me the final push to read The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss, which my brother-in-law has been recommending to me for at least a year, but I had a hard time getting into it and it was due back at the library yesterday. I was less than 100 pages in. I just don't have time for that kind of commitment right now. I'll try again in 2012!

Fallout

2011-11-30T10:25:00.000-06:00

The whole 11/11 thing was fun, but I'm glad to see November go. More than any other month, November is packed with marriage-related dates and emotional landmines for me. Compared to how I felt last year, this year was barely a blip on the radar, and I know it'll get even easier. But this is the permanent kind of grief and fallout that you just have to learn to live with. I'm very "over" my divorce in a day-to-day sense, but in a deeper sense, I will never be 100% over it. It doesn't prevent me from being happy, or healthy, or moving on, but it's there underneath everything. Any major loss creates a ripple effect that applies in new ways to new experiences, so you can never totally shake it. I have a special appreciation for friends who have also experienced deep loss, because they instinctively understand this and don't hold it against me.

While I'm on the subject, it bothers me that a death is more socially acceptable to grieve, and feel repercussions from, long-term than a divorce. I believe a divorce can be just as bad as a death, and in some ways and situations, even worse. It's terrible when a loved one dies, and it's natural to have anger and complicated feelings toward the circumstances or even toward the loved one. But in most cases, that person didn't choose to leave you. Generally, you can be comforted knowing that the person loved you, and remembering your good times together. When your loss is the result of someone's choice, a choice that rejects every molecule of your being, it's a whole other ball of wax. It makes grieving the actual loss a lot messier. Meanwhile, people will expect you to forget any happy memories you have, acknowledge that you're better off, and Move On as soon as possible. But you can know the truth of your better-off-ness and still pay tribute to and feel sad for what you've lost, even years later. It doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It's okay... no matter what anyone says. Actually, I think this can apply to a lot of things.

Anyway, this Christmas season should be just what I need. My hope has really been waning lately, so it's the perfect time to reflect on the coming of the Hope of the world!

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-28T11:14:00.001-06:00

My dad and brother view Thanksgiving as a deer-hunting holiday, so unlike most families, mine tends to scatter for the turkey feast. :\ This year, my sister and brother-in-law invited me to his family's Thanksgiving in Cullman, Alabama. I wasn't sure how it would go, but I had a fantastic time. His family is very relaxed and welcoming, and I felt comfortable with them immediately. To paraphrase Debra, it was good Southern food with good Southern people. We all enjoyed our couple of days together, and of course, I was happy to spend the holiday with my sister.

The whole fam

We took advantage of the nice day and surroundings and had a photo shoot - Debra and I both needed new pictures for our Christmas cards!

Acknowledging the niece or nephew to-be :)

How was your Thanksgiving?

Grace for the Good Girl: Fruits of the Spirit

2011-11-25T14:00:00.000-06:00

Several of my friends are reading Grace for the Good Girl now, reminding me that I never posted more of my thoughts on it. One brief passage that resonated, and has stuck with me, was about the fruits of the Spirit (as listed in Galatians 5). Emily Freeman says she went through a phase of "working on" a specific fruit each week - joy, kindness, patience, self-control, etc. Each week, she'd power through a few days before falling into despair. (I've undertaken similar projects with similar results.) But as she came to understand grace better, she realized that fruits of the Spirit aren't things we have to produce. They're things we already possess as Christians.

This good [the fruit of theSpirit] is a result of the Spirit within us. Goodness is a fruit or a naturaloutcome, not a try-hard workout. Only Jesus can be like Jesus. And he wants meto trust him to be who he is in and through me. “If we live by the Spirit, letus also walk by the Spirit” (Gal. 5:25). We received him by faith forsalvation, and now we can walk in him by faith just the same.

So, this is another facet of what grace is about: realizing we don't have to work for what's already been given freely to us. We can be at peace. I wish I believed this all the time, because when I do, I feel such peace.
I'll be posting more little blurbs and thoughts as I think about them!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T10:00:00.000-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers! I hope you have wonderful days of feasting and football with your families and friends. In between trips to the table and discussions of what you're thankful for, I recommend watching a few Friends Thanksgiving episodes. They're some of the best of the whole series. My personal favorite is The One Where Ross Got High, also known as the beef trifle episode.

Honey Mustard Pot Pie

2011-11-23T08:24:00.000-06:00

When fall starts turning into winter (in the length of days, if not in temperature), I start craving a good, hot chicken pot pie. Because I ate so many frozen chicken pot pies as a kid, I didn't really enjoy them until I had American Cafe's version. Then I realized how hearty and delicious they could be!

This recipe is NOT from American Cafe, but the soy sauce and mustard give it an interesting kick. It's for a double-crust pie, but I made this one open-faced, both to save calories and because my pie crusts wouldn't roll out properly. :)

Honey Mustard Chicken Pot Pie

Ingredients:
1 9-inch frozen pie crust (two-pack or double crust)
1 lb. skinless, boneless chicken breasts, diced
¼ cup soy sauce
¼ cup finely diced onion
1 clove garlic, minced
1 cup chicken broth
1 cup carrots, sliced julienne
3 1/2 Tbsp honey
1 ½ Tbsp Dijon mustard
1 tsp dried parsley
Salt and pepper to taste
1 ½ Tbsp cornstarchdissolved in 3 Tbsp water

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 425 F. Marinate diced chicken in soy sauce.

2. In a lightly oiled saucepan, saute onion and garlic over medium-high heat until onion is soft, but not brown. Add chicken pieces and saute until chicken is cooked through.

3. Stir in chicken broth, carrots, honey, mustard, parsley, salt, and pepper. Bring to a boil.

4. Add cornstarch mixture and cook, stirring constantly, until thick. Add more cornstarch mixture if necessary.(Never add cornstarch alone to a dish - always combine with water first!)

5. Pour chicken mixture into pie shell. Top with the second pie crust, cutting small slits in top to let steam escape.Bake at 425 F for 15 minutes, then reduce heat to 350 and bake for 30 more minutes, or until crust is golden brown.

PS - If you're looking for a last-minute sweet potatoes recipe for Thanksgiving, I have a delicious one here!

Busy, Busy, Terribly Busy

2011-11-22T08:37:00.001-06:00

This ad really bothers me.

Lately I've had a heightened awareness of how much our society over-values busy-ness - and of my own contribution to that wrong perspective. Many of us are very busy, and there's nothing wrong with talking about it. The problem comes when we overstuff our schedules, or just talk about doing so, as a defense or justification for our existence. When people ask me what I've been up to, if I don't have anything specific to talk about, I often hear myself reply "Oh, I've been busy." It's the truth, but I don't like my motivations for saying it. What I'm really trying to say is, "I promise I'm an interesting person. I'm very active. I contribute to society. I don't sit around doing nothing." As if relaxing occasionally, or not living life at top speed, should be reason for judgment.

I know I'm not the only one who feels defensive in this way, but I tend toward it more than most people because of how I grew up. My mom enrolled me in practically every extracurricular activity she could find. I would have been happy to sit around reading every afternoon, but that behavior was considered lazy. I'm grateful for all the experiences I've had, and as an adult I am happier when I'm active, out and about, learning and doing things. But a lifetime of activity has made it very hard for me to be still. I fight my natural introversion and HSP-ness, then wonder why I collapse in complete exhaustion once in a while. I feel like a loser if I need a day, or even just a whole evening, to recharge and lay around my house doing nothing. I've learned the hard way to allow myself these times of relaxation, but I still haven't consistently learned to feel at peace when I'm not Doing Something.

Anyway, this mindset is just the symptom of a larger problem, which is that we're all trying to earn our existence. As a Christian, my worth is in Christ and His sacrifice for me, and nothing I do can add to or take away from that. In Christ I would be no less "worthy" if I never "accomplished" anything again. It'll probably take years of preaching this to myself for it to start sinking in.

PS - Workplace pressure to be busy is different, but no less annoying. I witness busy-ness competitions daily at work. Maybe if people spent less time making sure everyone knows how insanely busy they are, and trying to one-up each other, they'd have more time to do something about it.

Fridayness and Giveaway Winner

2011-11-18T14:10:00.001-06:00

It's Friday and I'm not feeling especially inspired, so here's a meme!

Outside my window... It's sunny and 57 degrees... a pretty day. I'm so thankful that winter comes gradually. These 50s feel chilly to me now, but before long, I'll be remembering them fondly. :\

I am thinking... about grief and hope and the future and all my usual weighty topics.

I am thankful... for my friends. They all bring something different, wonderful, and much needed to my life. For my amazing church - God is truly at work there, and I'm so happy to be a part of it. For the official beginning of Tiger basketball season, and friends who let me use their extra season ticket. For the heated mattress pad on my bed - one of the greatest inventions in history.

In the kitchen... I have several tasty recipes ready to go, but they'll probably be pre-empted by meals out and Thanksgiving leftovers. I'm baking cornbread for a party on Saturday (feel free to share your best cornbread recipe). I love to use my antique cast-iron cornbread pan - the molds are in the shape of little corn cobs. :)

I am wearing... a gray sweater, my "reindeer hooves" brown boots, and dark jeans that are just short of skinny... plus a square holographic ring and sparkly, dangly peridot-look earrings. You can't go wrong with the Vera Wang accessories at Kohl's.

I am creating... nothing right now, but I have a few sewing projects I'd like to try (!). I definitely plan to put together another cushion/cat bed for the cats for Christmas. It's just a large square pillow from Hancock's with a sewn fleece cover. I made the first one a couple of years ago, and they're always fighting over it.

I am going... to see Oklahoma! with my mom tonight at our local community theater. Believe it or not, I've never seen it. My only knowledge of it is the karaoke scene in When Harry Met Sally.

I am wondering... if my office will close early next Wednesday. A lot of plans are hanging in the balance. I'm also wondering what color to paint my nails next. #firstworldproblems

I am reading... the November InStyle (and happy to see Gwen Stefani on the cover again. LOVE GWEN). Even though magazines come at least two weeks ahead of schedule, I don't read them until it's the month on the spine. Once I'm caught up on November magazines, I'll start on The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss, which has been recommended to me many times.

I am hoping... to have a Sonic pumpkin pie shake sometime this weekend. I still haven't tried one!

I am looking forward to... Thanksgiving with my sister and brother-in-law next week, then coming home and putting up my Christmas decorations. My brother is supposed to be in town too, and I'm excited to see him.

I am hearing... lots of 90's rap in the car on the way home this week. I keep it old school.

Around the house... I haven't done any notable house things recently. I've been home even less than usual, and don't expect to tackle any big projects before January!

Plans for the weekend: The Handmade holiday crafting event (yay!), a friend's birthday party, and a semi-ironic viewing of Breaking Dawn. :)

Share a Quote... I need to hear this a lot lately:

via Pinterest, of course

*****

The winner of the My Memories digital scrapbooking software is... Erin! Erin, e-mail me at brendamills@gmail.com and I'll send you the download info. :) I chose the winner via random.org. Thanks to those who participated!

For everyone else, I have a "Share the Memories" coupon code for $10 off the purchase of My Memories software, plus $10 off any purchase in the online store. Just enter the code STMMMS79166 at checkout! This code doesn't expire, so if you decide in the future to try the software, please come back and use it.

Wild On Wednesday: Mash-Ups

2011-11-16T14:43:00.001-06:00

Lauren often encourages other bloggers to join her in Wild On Wednesday, so I'm participating this week! (WOW is specifically for discussing things you're currently wild about.)

I've written a lot of materialistic posts lately, so rather than harp on another product I love, or more pretty clothes, I want to talk about something intangible that gives me deep satisfaction: musical mash-ups. I've always loved making mix CDs for friends and/or specific occasions. Mash-ups take that innate mix sense to the next level. It's an art, really - taking two independent entities that shouldn't go together and bringing them into harmony. (Sort of like marriage!) The more diverse the mashed artists, the more impressed I am. When I hear a great mash-up, I feel like two little puzzle pieces have snapped together in my soul.

The annual mash-up episode of Glee aired last night, so this topic was already on my mind. Then this morning, I heard this song on the radio - the DJ took note of it recently when he watched Just Go With It. It's The Police mashed with Snow Patrol (and if I like it, you know it was done well, because I think Snow Patrol is sooo overrated).

Every Car You Chase

Of course, the band Rock Sugar owes its existence to mash-ups:

Don't Stop the Sandman

I know there are a bunch of other great ones out there, but I can't think of more examples! There's also the sub-genre of mash-up medleys. My two all-time favorites:

40 Songs, 4 Chords (there are a few versions of this floating around - warning, language at either end)

Jimmy Fallon sings hits of the 80's over "U Can't Touch This"

Do you love mash-ups too? Recommend your favorites!

My Memories Scrapbook Software Giveaway

2011-11-15T09:27:00.001-06:00

A couple of weeks ago, I received an offer from My Memories to try their scrapbooking software and host a giveaway! I've been intrigued by digital scrapbooking, but hadn't tried it before now. I was especially interested in this program, since you can supposedly create typographic art with it - I've been looking for a program or app for that. I haven't really explored that aspect of My Memories yet (I'll share once I do), but I did try some scrapbooking!

My Memories digital scrapbooking software is very easy to use. In many ways it's similar to Print Artist, which I used to use frequently. It comes pre-loaded with a variety of automatic scrapbook page layouts - to populate the photo spaces, just double-click in each space and choose your photo. You can leave the arrangement as is, or change the size, rotation, and placement of your photos. Many layouts have overlapping photos, which I like, and you can move them to the front or back. For titles and journaling text, you can add standard text effects or use Word Art. Then you can choose from a large selection of scrapbook "papers" in many colors and patterns, and embellishments like brads, bows, frames, and shapes. I've barely scratched the surface of this software, and I'm sure I could play with it for hours and not come up with the same thing twice.

There are plenty of basic options, but if you prefer theme-y, seasonal, fancier backgrounds, only a few come with the software (and they're a little odd). MANY more fancy "papers" and kits are available a la carte on the My Memories website. The font selection was also slightly underwhelming, but with so many free fonts out there, that's not a big concern for me.

I have not tried to print any of my pages, but I don't think it would be difficult to do. Here are a few pages that I put together. As JPEGs, they look a little funny because they have automatic "margins" to allow for binding when printed.

If you're interested in trying My Memories, I have one free code to give away! Visit the My Memories website and then leave me a comment telling me what scrapbooking kit or paper pack you like best. The deadline is Friday, November 18 at noon - I'll randomly choose a winner that afternoon.

Thanks and happy looking!

I'm On A Horse

2011-11-14T09:31:00.001-06:00

Last weekend, a great woman I'm getting to know at church invited me and my friend Sophie to ride horses at her farm! Up to this point, my horse experience consisted of multiple pony rides as a kid (you know, the kind where they walk you around in a circle - I enjoyed those) and one attempt to ride a skittish horse when I was eleven or twelve. So I wasn't sure how this was going to go. I think horses are beautiful, but I have a healthy respect for them too! At first I was nervous, but once we got going, I felt very comfortable.

We rode for about an hour and a half, through woods and fields. After a while we started going faster, and I had thought I would be afraid, but it was exhilarating. I loved it. Horsewoman of Rohan, baby!!

The REAL horsewoman of Rohan (her name is also Brenda :)).

After the ride, we got to brush the horses and lead them back out to the pasture. They were very nice and sweet-tempered horses. I'm thankful to have had such a great experience! :)

Fashion Friday!

2011-11-11T10:12:00.001-06:00

Happy 11/11/11!

My biannual seasonal clothing switch is a big undertaking. I iron everything as I take it out, set aside items that need alterations, and even put a few things in the yard sale box. Normally, by switch time, I'm so tired of my last-season clothes that the sight of my next-season ones is thrilling. So I was bummed to walk into my lovely closet two weeks ago, after everything was folded and hung, and realize that I wasn't very excited about it. My cardigans and pullovers seemed so boring. Also, I love the dark skinny jeans/tall boots/cute scarf look as much as everyone else, but I'm already asking myself, "Is this all there is?" How am I supposed to feel special and cute for a social event if my only option is the same combo I wear whenever I'm not at work? First-world problems, for sure.

After way too much shopping and pinning, I've identified a few courses of action:

Moorea Seal

Banana Republic

Statement accessories. As I've mentioned before, I'm accessories-challenged. I gravitate toward simpler jewelry and am generally afraid of belts. But I've collected a few fun pieces, so I need to use those more creatively, and maybe indulge in some of the above too. Accessories really are the key to livening up plain solid colors.

Elle by Kohl's

Forever 21

Cardigans with interesting details. For a while now, I've tried to choose solid-colored shirts with some sort of interesting details - ruffles, an embellishment, or just ruching (I'm a HUGE fan of ruched clothing). Now it's time to apply that to cardigans (which are a huge part of my work wardrobe). A plain cardigan in a few basic colors is key, but I'd like a few exciting options too.

Gap

Target

Shorter winter-weight skirts and dresses. It took me a while to figure out that tights and tall boots require shorter hemlines, especially if you have short legs like I do. My mom is already hemming several nice skirts that I never wore last year because they just didn't look right (thanks Mums!). Yay for more options! I love both of these skirts - one classic, the other fun. I'm also on the lookout for short corduroy skirts. I have a brown one and wear it all the time.

Mustard on everything. :) As a Fall, I'm loving the mustard trend. I basically want this entire outfit, and think I can approximate it pretty cheaply (I already have the boots!). The below dress, from Forever 21, is similar, on clearance for $13, and would make a great foundation piece. Forever 21 sure loves its miniskirts, but due to my aforementioned short legs, I sometimes luck out.

And now, some general inspiration:

These "looks" are from The Limited - I've loved most of their stuff over the past few years. Too bad it's all so expensive. I love the lavender leather jacket! The orange look is kind of 70's, but again, I'm a Fall and the colors of the 70's flatter me. :)

I have no idea where this picture is from, but I love everything about the outfit. The extreme girliness is perfectly tempered by the boots. I really need to attempt a DIY ruffle scarf.

Faith and Hope

2011-11-10T14:41:00.001-06:00

My personal Bible time is really inconsistent these days. My ESV Study Bible is wonderful, but it can be overwhelming. (Should I read the text and then the footnotes? Go back and forth? Read the footnotes before the text? Overload!) I'm currently in Hebrews, one of my favorite books - at chapters 11 and 12, my longtime favorite chapters in that book. Last night, the very first piece of commentary I read blew me away. I thought, a la my friend Casey, "Let's close in prayer" (i.e., please disperse, nothing more to see here).

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. - Hebrews 11:1

By defining faith (Gk. pistis) as “assurance” and “conviction,” the author indicates that biblical faith is not a vague hope grounded in imaginary, wishful thinking. Instead, faith is a settled confidence that something in the future—something that is not yet seen but has been promised by God—will actually come to pass because God will bring it about. Thus biblical faith is not blind trust in the face of contrary evidence, not an unknowable “leap in the dark”; rather, biblical faith is a confident trust in the eternal God who is all-powerful, infinitely wise, eternally trustworthy—the God who has revealed himself in his word and in the person of Jesus Christ, whose promises have proven true from generation to generation, and who will “never leave nor forsake” his own (13:5). Such faith in the unseen realities of God is emphasized throughout ch. 11 (e.g., 11:7, 8; cf. v. 3) and has provided confidence and assurance to all who receive Christ as their Lord and Savior.

Faith and hope are hard for me to separate, which I guess is appropriate since Scripture often puts them together. I think the main difference is that faith is more about being - who God is, who we are as His children - and hope is more about doing - events that we wish for. Faith is the solid foundation of hope, the "substance" of hope. It's only through faith that we can hope appropriately. I hope for many important things, and I believe it's healthy to keep hoping for them even if they never happen. But if my hopes don't come to fruition, I will still have faith - "settled confidence" - in the goodness of God and the steadfastness of His love for me. He's promised never to abandon me, even when I feel abandoned. His character is true even if I can't see what He's doing and might never know the reasons why. Hope might let me down, but faith never will.

In the words of one of my favorite Paramore anthems, it's not faith if you use your eyes. :)

PS - This post was also partially inspired by a recent post from Dana at The Abundant Life, which gave me some much needed hope and encouragement. She's amazing!

Stuffed Pork Tenderloin and Balsamic Butternut Squash

2011-11-09T10:20:00.002-06:00

My cooking enthusiasm is high these days, thanks to Pinterest (and the season - my appetite revs up for the holidays early :P). I made a scaled-down version of this delicious stuffed pork tenderloin last weekend, and added the baked vegetables on Monday to go with the pork leftovers. It's a good combination.

Stuffed Pork Tenderloin with Spinach and Sun-Dried Tomatoes
Adapted from Jana Laurene

Ingredients:
1 large pork tenderloin (around 3 pounds)
2 cloves garlic
10 oz. fresh spinach
4 oz. sun-dried tomatoes
4 oz. goat cheese
4 oz. cream cheese
½ cup sour cream

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Sauté garlic and chopped spinach with a little olive oil over medium heat until nearly cooked through. Add sun-dried tomatoes. Remove from stove when the spinach is cooked to your liking.

2. In a separate bowl, combine goat cheese, cream cheese, and sour cream until smooth. Add the spinach and sun-dried tomatoes to the mixture.

3. Cut your tenderloin open so it lies flat. (This instructional video is helpful - I also recommend sharpening your knife beforehand. I hadn't attempted this before, and my results weren't the greatest.) Pat the pork dry with a paper towel, then place on a baking sheet.

4. Spread the filling across the pork, then roll the tenderloin up like a jelly roll, keeping the mixture enclosed. Secure with strings or bamboo skewers.

5. Brush the top with olive oil, and lightly sprinkle salt and pepper. Bake for about an hour, until the internal heat of the pork is 155 degrees. Start checking it at about 40 minutes to be sure it doesn't overcook.

Balsamic Roasted Butternut Squash
Slightly adapted from The Crepes of Wrath. This would be a great Thanksgiving side! I may or may not have devoured some right out of the pan.

Ingredients:
1 medium butternut squash, peeled and diced
1 medium zucchini, peeled and diced (carrots or potatoes would also work well)
1 large sweet onion, thinly sliced
2 Tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
1-2 Tbsp balsamic vinegar
1/4 tsp ground sage (I used Herbes de Provence and a little ground thyme)
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Peel and de-seed your squash and dice into bite-sized pieces. Place the squash on a lined baking sheet, and toss with your other diced vegetables, olive oil, spices, salt, and pepper. Roast for 20-30 minutes, until tender. Taste and adjust seasonings as needed.

2. While your squash roasts, caramelize the onion. Start by heating a tablespoon of olive oil in a medium to large sized pot over medium heat. Add sliced onions and stir until softened, about 5 minutes. Add 1 tablespoon of balsamic vinegar, stir again, and cook for another 5-10 minutes.

3. Check your onions - if you really like balsamic vinegar (yum!!), you can add another tablespoon. Stir occasionally for another 10 minutes or so, until the onions are nicely caramelized and the balsamic vinegar has reduced.

4. When your butternut squash is ready, toss it with the balsamic glazed onions. Taste, adjust seasonings as necessary, and serve.

Life Lately, 11/8

2011-11-08T09:05:00.000-06:00

Get ready for another exciting recap of what I've been up to! ;)

My mom and I did the True Blue 5K on the U of M campus last Friday. We usually walk these races, but I ran part of the time and finished in 39 minutes - six minutes' improvement over my last 5K in August. That's a laughable time to most people, but I'm thrilled! Before this year, I seriously couldn't run more than a few feet at a time before getting winded, or comprehend that running could feel good. But I'm building up very slowly, like my personal version of Couch to 5K, and apparently it's working!

Fulfilling a long-held dream of running through the tiger head

Around here, the fall colors are peaking right now - I have a constant urge to pull over and take pictures of pretty trees. These are in my own backyard. I mulched up all these leaves with the mower on Saturday, but that work has already been erased. It's a long and futile process, but I'm still thankful to have mature trees!

My car hit 140,000 miles! Most of the major parts were replaced when I got it in summer '09, so this milestone isn't as anxiety-inducing as it would normally be. I do have a list of random inconvenient things that need fixing, though. Once it gets cold, I'm really going to wish my lower air blower worked. :\

My cats remain adorable. Changing the bedsheets is Gandalf's favorite activity. He loves to burrow under the sheet and have me peek in at him or "get" him from the outside. Peach likes this game too, but she doesn't play with the same enthusiasm. :)

My friend Myla threw an awesome 30th birthday bash for her husband at The Brass Door on Saturday night. Everyone enjoyed great live music, great company, and the LSU/Alabama game. Myla and I made this party banner together using index cards, black scrapbook paper, twine, and punch out letters from the Target dollar spot. I can't believe how well it turned out. Similar custom banners start at $20 on Etsy. Maybe I should start my own shop!

The talented couple performs together

What's new with you? :)

An Announcement

2011-11-03T10:32:00.001-05:00

This is me and my family on Labor Day weekend, when my sister announced via these T-shirts that she was pregnant! I'm going to be an aunt!!! :D Aunt B, to be precise. Debra is due on May 4. I know about ten other women who are due around the same time, so it's been very hard not to chime in with their discussions, but now I can tell the world. I'm very happy and excited!

This will be the first grandchild in our family, and the second on her in-laws' side. My gut feeling is that it's a girl. We'll know in December!

Any advice for me as a prospective aunt? :)

New Music Review

2011-11-02T10:11:00.000-05:00

Last Monday was exciting for me - both Kelly Clarkson and Coldplay released new albums on the same day! After steeping in both for about a week, I have some thoughts:

Even as a diehard Kelly Clarkson fan, I have to admit that Stronger fell a little flat for me. It's more My December than All I Ever Wanted. As one great review (which I regret not bookmarking because I can't find it again) noted, is Kelly surrounding herself with an endless supply of losers? I enjoy a sassy musical kiss-off as much as anyone, but enough is enough. I loved some of the songs immediately, but with others, I wondered how they made it past the final cut. Kelly, you're better than this!

That said, my emerging favorites are "You Love Me," "Let Me Down," "You Can't Win," and the title track. And though many pixels have been spilled over "Einstein" with its chorus of "Dumb plus dumb equals you," it really is a guilty pleasure (and still better than anything Ke$ha has produced).

One of my favorite things about Coldplay is their ability to deliver a cohesive album (including cross-references to the other songs!). Apparently the concept of Mylo Xyloto is a star-crossed couple in a dystopian society, which surprised me because of the hope that pervades the entire thing. Where Viva la Vida was dark and brooding, MX is overwhelmingly joyful - joy in the face of despair? Maybe I'm just projecting my own emotional state onto this record, but I'm extremely moved by it. I don't care what the electronica influences mean for their direction as a band, or how supposedly inane the lyrics are. I can't even pick a favorite track because I love them all. (The chipmunk effects on "Charlie Brown" are a little annoying, though.)

BONUS: I planned to write a "real" review of Needtobreathe's The Reckoning (which was released in September) and try to submit it to a website. But I think it's too late now, so I'll go ahead and talk about it here. I wasn't sure this band could top The Outsiders, but they've moved to a different level. The consistent message of The Reckoning is the importance of seeing and facing truth - the need to stop running, open our eyes, and accept the healing that comes with knowing the truth. I appreciate that message, and the fact that it also rocks as only Needtobreathe can is just icing on the cake. My current favorite selections are "Slumber" and "Drive All Night" (which seriously makes me want to drive all night).

What new music are you enjoying right now?

October Book List

2011-11-01T09:05:00.003-05:00

Yes, this looks like a month of pure fluff. I have been reading heavier things, but haven't managed to finish them yet.

Names My Sisters Call Me by Megan Crane
Megan Crane is one of my go-to novelists, and this one about the dysfunctional relationship of three very different sisters didn't disappoint. The plot was well thought out, and I understood where Courtney was coming from even in her unwise decisions. I cringed for much of the book, waiting for something horrible to happen, but it all ended pleasantly but realistically. :) Also, Lucas is a worthy addition to any Heartthrobs of Modern Fiction list.

Love Starts With Elle by Rachel Hauck
Another sweet, likeable, but just okay Christian romance, set in South Carolina. Elle is an artist-turned-gallery owner trying to put her life back together after a broken engagement. Heath is a lawyer-turned-novelist taking a sabbatical after the tragic death of his wife. They're both endearing and you'll root for them, but I kept thinking, "Who talks like that?" You'll know what I mean if you read it.

Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins
This book arrived on my doorstep one day at 6 pm, and I finished it by 11:30! It's set in San Francisco and features Lola, a costume enthusiast, and her next-door neighbor/childhood sweetheart, Cricket. Cricket moves back in two years after breaking Lola's heart and leaving town, and their path back toward each other is full of obstacles (like pride, misunderstandings, and rock star boyfriends). I've decided I prefer Anna and the French Kiss to this companion - I relate much more to Anna, and hello, PARIS! However, while Etienne is dreamy, Cricket is more my type, so the books kind of balance out. ;) Can't wait for Isla and the Happily Ever After!

Across the Universe by Beth Revis
Along with her parents, Amy is cryogenically frozen for a 300-year space trip to colonize a new planet. Unfortunately, she's woken 50 years ahead of schedule into a dystopian society on the ship. But she immediately connects with Elder, the teenage second-in-command. While (and maybe because) this story is very well-written, it's also upsetting and disturbing (and claustrophobic!). So although I couldn't put it down, I can't exactly say I enjoyed it.

Absolutely, Positively by Heather Webber
Another enjoyable, suspenseful chapter in the life of Lucy Valentine. Love! With the unexpected revelation that there's more to Lucy's power than even she knows, I'm especially excited for the next book.

Books for October: 5
2011 year to date: 64

***

I can't believe it's November. Is anyone doing NaNoWriMo? I don't understand why they schedule it in one of the busiest months of the year - the only worse choice would be December. I attempted it in 2008, and only made it to about 18,000 words before deciding the stress and isolation wasn't worth it. Someday I'll try again, but maybe in January or July instead!

Memory Lane: SoCal 2007 (Part 2)

2011-10-28T09:03:00.001-05:00

I almost forgot about this little nostalgia trip. :) Here's the remainder of highlights from my 2007 trip to Southern California - you can see part 1 here.

After seeing Hollywood, my mom and I ventured down to Long Beach and the Aquarium of the Pacific! We were excited to see different kinds of fish and animals than the Atlantic ones we're used to.

The aquarium also had a parrot and Lorikeet aviary. I'd never seen Lorikeets before. They're really cute!

When we'd seen all there was to see, we looked at the Queen Mary and a lighthouse, rode a Ferris wheel, and had dinner at a delicious Greek place.

Still one of my all-time favorite pictures.

My mom is a fan of the Schullers, so on our last full day in California, we went to church at Crystal Cathedral in the OC. The building and grounds are beautiful!

After church, we made a last-minute decision to go to the Getty. It was magnificent - one of my favorite memories from the trip. I also thought I saw Liv Tyler there (my only possible celebrity sighting), but was probably just someone who looked like her.

The next morning, we flew home, concluding one of the best trips of my life. After a week and a half, I felt very comfortable in SoCal and loved the culture, the beautiful weather and surroundings, and the excitement. For a long time, I thought about it almost every day. I even started wondering if I should move there someday. In the end, I decided that living there would only make me homesick for Miami (which probably makes sense to no one but me). Still, I'd love to visit again!

When God Is With You

2011-10-27T11:57:00.001-05:00

On the very day the biggest Plan B of my life began, I happened to be reading an amazing (but awkwardly subtitled) book called Plan B: What Do You Do When God Doesn't Show Up The Way You Thought He Would? by Nashville pastor Pete Wilson. Many insights from this book have stuck with me, but none more so than the main question Wilson poses:

What would you do if you were absolutely confident God was with you?

As I've stepped out, tried new things, and taken more risks, I've asked myself this question more and more. Thinking about it in the abstract fills me with courage and hope. Because if I had total confidence that God was with me, I would be fearless - or at least know that I ought to be. In his sermon last week, my pastor talked about the prayers of the early Church, how God literally shook the building they were in to let them know that He was behind them and He was unstoppable. If I knew that God was guiding me completely, I wouldn't hesitate to act on things. It's just so hard to know whether my plans and hopes come from Him, or whether they'll end with life as I know it in ruins.

The hard thing is, that's not necessarily an either/or. When I think about confidence that God is with me, I naturally equate that with confidence in eventual success, because God can't fail. It's easy to forget that what we think of as success isn't always what He wants for us. He was with those early Christians in a powerful way - and most of them ended up martyred. So, translating that to 21st century America... if I were to (totally hypothetically) someday find a less stable, lower-paying job more in line with my interests and gifts, or even become a freelance writer or go back to school, that could in fact end with me broke, houseless, and without any short- or long-term security - and it could be exactly what God wants for me. It wouldn't necessarily mean that He wasn't "with me" when I made that decision. Comforting and helpful, huh?

For years, I've often wished that God would just tell me audibly what to do about things. But I stopped recently when I read Anthony DeStefano's book Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes To. He points out that throughout the Bible, God only spoke directly - via angels or in person - to those who had crucial roles in history, or extremely difficult jobs to do. He was very direct with them because they needed His strength and Presence to accomplish what He had prepared for them. The bottom line was to be careful what you wish for. :) With great power comes great responsibility, and all that. I can vouch for this in a small way through my own experiences.

In the end, even if we end up far from where we thought we'd be, if we belong to God, He is with us. And that's really all we need.

Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread

2011-10-26T09:00:00.000-05:00

I saw this pumpkin bread recipe at Simple Thoughts and decided to bake some ASAP. Conveniently, I had half a can of pumpkin in the fridge that needed to be used up. :) This recipe makes two loaves, one for you and one for a neighbor. But my family and friends don't want me plying them with baked goods, and it's dangerous enough having one loaf of this bread in the house. It is DELICIOUS, and excellent topped with a little cream cheese for breakfast.

Ingredients:
3 1/2 cups flour
3 cups sugar
2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp cinnamon
4 eggs
1 can pumpkin (not pie filling)
1 cup oil
1 cup water
Chocolate chips to taste (the original recipe suggested an entire package)

Combine dry ingredients, combine wet ingredients, combine all together, yada yada. Bake at 350 F for 60-70 minutes.

Aside: I typically substitute unsweetened applesauce for oil and a little baking Splenda for sugar when I bake. I also mix it up with flours depending on the recipe, my mood, and what I have on hand. For this I combined white, whole wheat, and a little barley flour (which is very light and adds a little flavor - thanks to Smitten Kitchen for the tip). Sometimes I throw in a dash of flaxseed, but that would have been too heavy for this bread. It's fun to experiment though.

New Boots and Inspiration

2011-10-25T11:37:00.000-05:00

Last weekend, I had an experience that's common for me. Armed with a $10 off certificate, I went to DSW with the goal of buying flat brown boots. They didn't have those Steve Madden boots I posted about a while back, but these classic Civico 10 boots were pretty much perfect... except for the price. I finally decided to go home and order them online to save as much as possible in coupon codes and Ebates. You can probably guess what happened. They didn't have my size online in the brown. They weren't for sale anywhere else. I was consumed with regret. So yesterday, I made another trip to DSW to buy the ones I had tried on. By then, it was less painful to spend the money. :P But the boots are real leather and will last forever, and I got a free quilted bag with purchase, which I can use as a laptop bag (something I've needed for a while). I'm excited to wear these with skinny jeans, dresses, and skirts!

The cats were determined to be part of the photo shoot. (I carried the mirror around the house trying to find a well-lit area....)

As long as I'm talking about shoes, these Steve Madden flip-flops were a total impulse buy a couple of months ago (also at DSW - I'm a very loyal customer), but I've worn them practically nonstop ever since. They're so cute and go with everything!

I'd shop less if I didn't get so many ideas. I have constant flashes of creative inspiration. This also goes for crafts, home decor, cooking, etc., but nowadays it manifests itself most often through fashion. I'll see something in a magazine, on a blog, or on someone I know, and instantly I know exactly what I want and how I want to adapt it. (I could probably cut back on magazines and blogs, but the ideas would still come.) The problem is, then I have to find it, and because I'm me, I want to find it as cheap as possible. It's a long, frustrating process, and usually, the longer I'm deterred, the more obsessed I get. If I had my mother's sewing abilities, I would design and make most of my clothes myself and avoid all the trouble. Sadly, sewing machines and I don't really get along. I think the style single-mindedness is inherited, though.

PS - the blog has a new look! Come check it out if you're viewing this in a reader. It's a free template from How Joyful Design and I'm really pleased with it!

Friday Linkage

2011-10-21T15:06:00.003-05:00

I wasn't planning to get a pumpkin this year, but when I saw them at Easy-Way, I couldn't resist! For the design, I just found a "B" font I liked, freehanded it onto the pumpkin with a Sharpie, and outlined the B with black puffy paint for extra emphasis. I love how it turned out and it makes me happy to look at it. :) At first I was afraid to put it outside lest someone smash it, but it's unscathed so far.

For your Friday, here's some random linkage (some of these are kind of old):

♥ Six awesome local Halloween costume ideas at I Love Memphis. Also: 10 Memphis locations for great photo shoots.

♥ A very honest, well-written post on men, women, and ministry from my friend Becca. I'm still figuring out what I believe about a lot of gender issues in the church, and I thought this was great.

♥ Some reflections on the Grizzlies' playoff run at Memphis Connect.

♥ Great thoughts on Sufficient Grace, from C Jane.

♥ In Defense of the Romance Novel, from Emily.

♥ Build a bench, not a platform, from Chatting at the Sky.

♥ A beautiful tribute to a great dad. Prepare to shed tears and be inspired.

♥ How Tina Fey helped me love my body, by Jonalyn Fincher. (This reminds me that I still need to read Bossypants.)

♥ Support for broken hearts from the awesome Sparkle Solo. Also: Being Enough, and Kissing (or lack thereof).

♥ For fellow Veronica Mars fans: Notes on a Veronica Mars Rewatching from Diana Peterfreund.

Unloved and Unwanted

2011-10-19T11:31:00.000-05:00

When the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. And Leah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Reuben, for she said, "Because the LORD has looked upon my affliction; for now my husband will love me." She conceived again and bore a son, and said, "Because the LORD has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also." And she called his name Simeon. Again she conceived and bore a son, and said, "Now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons." Therefore his name was called Levi. And she conceived again and bore a son, and said, "This time I will praise the LORD." Therefore she called his name Judah. Then she ceased bearing.

- Genesis 29:31-35

I've always connected with the Biblical story of Leah, and a lot more so over the past few years. For those who don't know or remember Leah's story, she was the first wife of Jacob, patriarch of Israel. Jacob was in love with her much more attractive sister, Rachel, but their father tricked him into marrying Leah first. As a result, Leah spent many years trying to earn Jacob's love and overcome her underdog place in their dysfunctional family. No matter how much she "achieved" as a wife and woman in the eyes of their culture, it was never enough. She remained unloved and unwanted. But she eventually realized that even if her husband didn't love or value her, the God of the universe did. That knowledge changed her life. And Leah, not Rachel, became part of the lineage of Christ through her son Judah.

In my continuing ramble through the Tim Keller archives, this week I happened upon a great sermon of his about Leah. Then I heard that one of the pastors at Alanna's church preached this past Sunday as Leah. I appreciated both messages so much that I wanted to share them here with the other Leahs of the world (plus, when the same topics come up repeatedly for me in a short period of time, I sit up and pay attention). We are loved by God and no amount of rejection can take that away from us.

Life Lately

2011-10-17T14:30:00.002-05:00

Here's some of what I've been up to...

Two of these people are excited. LOL!!!

Friday night was Memphis Madness, the first official scrimmage of the Tiger basketball season. The FedEx Forum was sold out (in this case "sold" since it was a free event). Kathy and Daniel got there before me and saved a seat. The atmosphere was electric. Can't wait for this season!

I rode all 14 miles of the Greenline on Saturday, just my bike and me. I love the Greenline! Usually I go with my mom, but it felt somehow empowering to go by myself. It's the only time I'm glad I drive an SUV. I can just fold down the seats and throw the bike in the back.

I'm spending as much time as possible outside. The cats enjoy the weather too. :)

Azaleas encoring nicely

Most of my plants are past their prime, but some hung on through the last of the terrible heat and are thriving now. I enjoy my mint, mums, and chives arrangement on the patio. Also: an eggplant is finally growing in the garden! If a squirrel takes it before it's ready, I'm going to be crushed.

Yesterday I planted some tiger lily and peony bulbs - shipped from Holland! Sleep well and take root, little bulbs. :) While planting them, I discovered a black widow spider in the garden bed, the first one I've ever seen in the wild. !!! I don't have a picture of it because I was busy killing it (a regretful but necessary sacrifice). Hopefully it didn't have local friends.

Editor cat is editing

Last week I completed and turned in my first real (i.e. for pay) writing assignment! My friend Jenn offered me some freelance work completing a curriculum outline about wilderness safety. I can now find North in any situation. Next I get to help with a children's book about a mission in Uganda. I'm really thankful for the chance to gain experience and confidence, try different things, and learn stuff. I feel like doors are starting to open for me and it's very exciting. :)

Memory Lane: SoCal 2007 (Part 1)

2011-10-13T09:50:00.004-05:00

I've been reminiscing about my ten-day trip to Southern California in 2007, which is one of the best trips I've ever taken. Since this blog didn't exist back then, and I'm too busy to come up with insightful content right now, I thought it would be fun to share some memories!

I initially traveled to California for a five-day work conference, which will probably hold a permanent place as the swankiest one I've ever attended. My co-workers and I flew into LA and then drove to Palm Springs, where the conference was held. Of course we had meetings and things, but there was a lot of time to enjoy the area too.

On the last night of the conference, we went to a dinner held in a huge, beautiful tent on a polo field. And after dinner, James Taylor performed. !!!

The next morning, we drove back to LA. I had never been there before, other than arriving there several days earlier. My co-workers headed back to Memphis, but my mom flew in and met me at the airport, and we embarked on our own adventure!

This is still one of my all-time favorite pictures. I have about a million under-the-pier photos -
the light, and the lines of the pilings, fascinated me.

Our first major stop was the Santa Monica Pier, which we thoroughly enjoyed. We explored for a while and then waited to watch the sun set over the Pacific, an event neither of us had seen before. Unfortunately, it was FREEZING cold, and we basically huddled behind some sort of wind break, taking turns to pop out and see if the sun was setting yet. After it set, we ate at Bubba Gump's right there on the pier because we were too cold, tired, and hungry to look elsewhere. :)

The next day, we took a bus tour of Hollywood and Bel-Air. It was an awesome experience that converted me to the whole bus-tour concept - you see and learn things you wouldn't on your own, without any of the trouble of driving and navigating. We stopped at the Hollywood Bowl, Grauman’s Chinese Theatre and the Kodak Theatre, Rodeo Drive, the La Brea Tar Pits, the Walt Disney Concert Hall, and Olvera Street. We lunched at the Farmer’s Market, finishing off with a jelly-roll-type Black Forest cake that I still think about and want to duplicate to this day. It was that good.

Onstage at the Hollywood Bowl!!!

Now this is a story all about how my life got twist-turned upside down.

Of course, we had to conclude the day with In-N-Out Burger.

Hope you enjoyed this! I had too many pictures for one post, so Part 2 will be coming soon. :)

My Favorite Movie, and Marrying Your Best Friend

2011-10-07T13:45:00.003-05:00

In case it's not obvious, I find it almost impossible to settle on one "favorite" anything. But if asked to name only one favorite movie, When Harry Met Sally is usually my choice. Like some others I've mentioned, this movie is so embedded in the pop culture lexicon that I don't have much to say about it critically. It's a beautiful, funny story of two people who become unlikely best friends and gradually fall in love over a period of years.

Aside from all the sleeping around, WHMS is pretty much my ideal love story. I strongly believe that the best marriages are between people who were friends first. Once the initial excitement fades and you start really living life together, a solid foundation of friendship is critical. I don't necessarily believe you have to be friends for a long time before taking things to the next level, but it should be an element of the relationship from the beginning. You need shared interests, shared experiences and adventures, enjoyment of each other's company… not just loving each other because you have to, but truly liking each other. Of course a marriage can survive without friendship, but who would want that when the other way is so much more fulfilling? Your spouse is the only person who's required to stick with you for the rest of your life. If he or she isn't your best friend, it seems like a sad waste.

I've read (Christian) books advising NOT to marry your best friend, implying that friendship and romantic attraction, philios and eros, cannot coexist (at least for men). I call bull on that philosophy. I have a right to – it was one of the reasons my ex gave me for ending our marriage. (We were good friends for three years before dating.) In my opinion, that's a pretty immature and short-sighted way to look at love.

This topic is close to my heart, and I've had some interesting discussions about it with friends this year. I've sadly concluded that the "best friends who fall in love" plotline becomes less and less plausible as one gets older. It requires a certain amount of cluelessness about your own feelings (personally, I'm way too self-aware not to know if I'm in love with someone, and I'm not necessarily saying that's a good thing), and about your place and stage in life. Thus, it's a lot more likely to happen when you're young, naïve,and have the luxury of not being intentional about everything. But I still think there's nothing more romantic than realizing the person you're meant to be with is the person who's been right next to you and loving you all the while.

And on that note, here's the end of the movie, which makes me cry every single time.

Chicken with Artichokes and Roasted Red Peppers

2011-10-06T15:30:00.000-05:00

Over these last few months, I've really fallen off the cooking bandwagon. More often than not, my dinner consists of salad, a veggie omelet, or embellished Lipton broccoli and cheese noodles. While there's nothing wrong with those tasty choices, I promised myself that I wouldn't fall into a lazy dinner rut. So the other night, I came home determined to cook a real meal. This fit the bill nicely - artichokes and/or roasted red peppers seem fancy and indulgent to me. It was also exciting to use the peppers I roasted myself! I must have done an okay job with them, because I didn't get sick. LOL.

Chicken with Artichokes and Roasted Red Peppers

Ingredients:
3 chicken breasts
½ cup chopped onions
3 tsp chopped garlic
1 cup chicken broth
1 can artichokes, quartered
½ jar roasted red peppers, sliced
1 cup cherry tomatoes, quartered
½ tsp crushed red pepper
2 Tbsp flour, dissolved in water (optional, for thickening - I skipped it)

Directions:
1. Season chicken breasts with salt, pepper and garlic, and set to cook on a George Foreman grill.

2. Spray a large skillet with cooking spray, and cook onions and garlic over medium heat. Once onions are clear, add chicken broth and reduce a bit.

3. After about five minutes, add artichokes and roasted red peppers. Remove chicken from the grill and slice into strips. Add to skillet. Add tomatoes and crushed red peppers and simmer for 5 minutes.

4. Add flour if sauce is too runny. Thicken and serve. Great over couscous!

Across the Hall

2011-10-05T11:53:00.000-05:00

I lived in a dorm for all four years of college (well, three years in a dorm and then one year in on-campus apartments). Despite the less-than-stellar lodging, it was one of the best times of my life. Recently my heart has been longing to live in a dorm again - or the grown-up version, living on a street or in a neighborhood with a bunch of friends. I'm generally still leery of the roommate thing, for many reasons - my innate protectiveness of my own space, combining belongings while still having to keep track of Mine and Yours, fear of someone's boyfriend being there all the time and preventing me from relaxing in my pajamas. But if I could have close community and keep my home and my space? That would be perfection.

What I miss about dorm life is the easy, spontaneous social interaction; the comfort of being one bee in a massive hive. Friends were naturally part of my days. I could be alone if I wanted to, but if I wanted company for a walk, or for dinner, or just to watch a favorite show, a friend could be available in five minutes. If all else failed, I could go to a common area and see who was around. Hanging out was flexible, not a commitment that had to be penciled in weeks ahead of time. (There was also an element of excitement, because you never knew who you might run into or where the day/night might take you.) As adults with responsibilities, we inevitably lose a lot of that freedom, but I don't believe we have to lose all of it. If I lived really close to a bunch of like-minded friends, there would be no reason why I couldn't call someone at 7:30 on a Monday night and say, "Hey, want to come over for a few minutes and talk while I fold this laundry?" Or, "I baked a cake, want to stop by and keep me from eating it all by myself?" They could also call me and say, "Could you come entertain the baby for half an hour so I can get something done?" It goes both ways.

I think a lot of people - married and single - long for this kind of day-to-day involvement in each other's lives. I'm experiencing a great sense of community at my church, which is something I've needed and prayed for for a long time, and I'm truly thankful and thrilled about it. But it's not quite the same as what I'm talking about here. I live across town from most of my friends, and I don't see that changing anytime soon. But hopefully this season of aloneness is temporary... in one way or another.

September Book List

2011-10-03T10:04:00.002-05:00

Sorry this is a little late. September was a quality-over-quantity month - three of these books were five-star reads!

Grace For the Good Girl: Letting Go of the Try-Hard Life by Emily Freeman
It's hard for me to talk about this book concisely, yet I can't stop talking about it in general. I am a Good Girl in the bone, and this book highlighted truths that God has already taught me through experience, as well as lots of things I'm still learning. It is freeing, encouraging, and life-changing. I want to hand out copies to every woman I see. I'd like to write a few posts about it, if anyone is interested.

Love, Charleston by Beth Webb Hart
I don't often judge a book by its cover, but this gorgeous cover drew me in. While I enjoyed the story - about two adult sisters and their cousin, and the new priest at their historic church - and the charming setting of Charleston, something about it was a little disconnected. One of the sisters suffers from the most extreme case of postpartum depression I've ever heard of, and it's never fully explained. The main romance takes place almost entirely "offscreen." Things happen abruptly. I almost got the feeling this was written for NaNoWriMo or something.

The Help by Kathryn Stockett
I'm pretty much the last person to read this, so just add my praise to the chorus. What an excellent and inspiring story. I think the book and/or the movie should be part of the curriculum in modern US history classes - they really brought the day-to-day realities of the civil rights movement to life for me. The strength of Aibileen, Minny and Skeeter will stick with me for a long time. Amazing.

Goliath by Scott Westerfeld
The perfect ending to a perfect trilogy. I believe the Leviathan books are destined to be classics. There's something brilliant, unique, and timeless about them that people of all ages can enjoy (although the whole fabricated beasts thing might be too much for young kids to grasp :)). As I said recently, I think they have a well-rounded, Princess Bride-ish quality. Goliath is also very romantic in a wholesome way, and I teared up at several points. (True, I am very emotional, but if you don't feel something at that ending, you are MADE OF STONE.) It may be the final push for me to write a post about relationships and "marrying your best friend" that's been percolating for a while. I also want a Bovril of my own, although my cat Gandalf is pretty perspiscacious himself. Anyway, I will love these books forever. And maybe we can look forward to a movie someday - for any Westerfeld fans who haven't heard, the Uglies movie is finally happening!

Books for September: 4
2011 year to date: 59

Quote of the Week

2011-10-01T11:00:00.000-05:00

I was perusing my quotes file this week, and came across this excellent one from the book The Soul Tells A Story:

Creative people learn to savor whatever befalls them. Sometimes we wallow in wonder, sometimes we wallow in sorrow or confusion. But we learn to notice the finer details, even when those details wound or confound us. When you approach experience in this way, you do become less of a victim and more of a creator. You gain some power when you choose to partake of any experience more wholeheartedly. You are not merely a person to whom things happen; you are a person who takes hold of whatever happens. That’s a huge difference.

- Vinita Hampton Wright

Felt Roses Fall Wreath

2011-09-30T16:03:00.002-05:00

I saw this felt flower wreath, from Little Things Bring Smiles, on Pinterest and and had to make one for myself! The original wreath used only orange flowers, but a) I didn't want the wreath to clash with my red door, b) I'm not a monochromatic kind of girl, and c) I was nervous about adorning my house with a lot of anything UT orange.

For this wreath, I bought fifteen sheets of felt at Michaels - five each of cream, orange, and brown - and a couple of sheets of green felt for good measure. I also picked up some florist wire. The bare-branch wreath was one I already had from the year before. I just removed the fake flowers I'd previously added to it. All in all, a very cheap craft.

To make the roses, I traced circles onto felt and cut them out. I used a CD and a coaster as guides, thinking that two sizes of rose would be interesting. After cutting out the circles, I cut a spiral into each one, starting from the outside.

Then I followed the instructions for rolling up the felt circles, starting at the outside of each spiral and rolling tightly. I secured the end of each rose with hot glue. Once all the roses were complete, I cut a few inches of florist wire for each one and pushed it through the hole in the center of the rose, making a small hook at the top of the wire to keep it from pulling through the rose. Then I stuck the wire through the branches, where I wanted the rose to go, and secured the excess wire at the back of the wreath. There's probably a better way to attach the roses to the wreath, but this way worked for me. After all the felt flowers were arranged, I cut a few leaves from the green felt and hot-glued them to the bottoms of some of the roses, wherever I thought they looked best.

This craft took several sessions to complete, and because there weren't a lot of instructions (other than those for making the flowers), I sort of made it up as I went. So it's open to interpretation if you want to make your own. I'm very happy with mine! :)

Two sides to every story.

2011-09-28T15:37:00.001-05:00

I've written before about "living in the tension." One of my current tensions is between independence and loneliness. On one hand, I honestly don't know how a man could make me happier than I already am. I have never known this level of contentment and peace. I feel like a different person from who I was before my divorce – or, more accurately, the whole, healthy, alive version of that person. I can bloom without interference, and a whole world of possibilities is open to me. I have freedom, comfort, semi-attainable goals, lots of activities, wonderful friends and family, and many other blessings. I don't let aloneness hold me back from doing things, and I don't have to worry that someone else isn't enjoying them. When I'm in this mindset and think about being in a relationship, I mostly think of being tired. Of anxiety and weariness and lots and lots of sacrifice. I don't regret my marriage, but it exhausted me in every conceivable way. Now that I've felt the sun on my face, I cannot go back to that dark cave. Why would I even want to take one step toward it? "Don’t mess with the happy" has become my personal variation on "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Why should I mess with the happy? Everything is great. Why should I give it all up?

On the other hand, the great things in life are less great without someone to walk alongside and share them. All the freedom in the world doesn't matter much when you don't want to go on the big adventures alone. All the friends in the world can't fill the hole of a spouse or even a boyfriend. That kind of relationship stands alone, as it's meant to. I have no automatic companion. I have no designated person to hash big and small things out with, or to share random thoughts with (and I do a lot of thinking and hashing, which is why I run my mouth in blogs, on Twitter, in e-mails to friends, and in frequent calls to my sister, who should qualify for sainthood pretty soon). I have no one to hug me when I just plain need a hug. I also don't have a designated person to give to, to invest in, to learn about and share with*. I believe I have a lot to give someone. Despite all that I've been through, I believe in love and in marriage and that it can be good.** I don't believe I am meant to be alone, but that doesn't guarantee I won't be. All I can do is "wait on God," which is a good growing experience, but sad and difficult sometimes.

Lately I've bounced between these extremes a lot. I know I won't always feel this way, but I also know it's not going to go away completely. It's another one of those struggles that I have to learn to live in.

* = Writing this made me think of Joey writing his speech for Monica and Chandler's wedding. It never fails to crack me up. "How about receiving?" "YES!"

** = "Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong

S'mores Bars

2011-09-27T09:30:00.000-05:00

These s'mores bars are perfect for fall! They bring a touch of campfire to non-campfire gatherings. This is another recipe I've had for a while and finally tried last weekend. The bars are delicious, but I cringe anytime I use this much butter. So if you make them, don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, and then go for a run or something. :)

I doubled the recipe (to make a 9x13 pan) since I was going to a party and didn't think it would be enough. However, the bars are pretty rich and I'm still eating the leftovers. So the below is the original recipe, for an 8x8 pan.

S’mores Cookie Bars
From The Crepes of Wrath, originally from Baking Bites

Ingredients:
½ cup unsalted butter, room temperature

¼ cup brown sugar

½ cup granulated sugar
1 large egg, room temperature
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour

¾ cup graham cracker crumbs (about 8 graham crackers)

1 teaspoon baking powder

¼ teaspoon salt

2 king-sized milk chocolate bars
1 ½ cups marshmallow fluff (not melted marshmallows because they harden when they cool)

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and/or line an 8-inch square baking pan.

2. Create graham cracker crumbs, either in a blender or food processor, or by crushing by hand.

3. In a stand mixer or large bowl, cream together butter and sugar until light. Beat in egg and vanilla.

4. In a small bowl, whisk together flour, graham cracker crumbs, baking powder and salt. Add to butter mixture and mix at a low speed until combined.

5. Divide dough in half, and press one half of dough into an even layer on the bottom of the prepared pan. Don’t worry if it seems thin; the baking powder will allow it to rise.

6. Place one layer of chocolate bars over dough (break them to fit if you need to), then spread the marshmallow fluff over the chocolate bars. Finally, top the fluff with the remaining dough by pressing the dough into sheets and laying it down on top. Don’t worry if the dough isn’t covering everything! It’ll spread out as it bakes.

7. Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, until lightly browned. If the top is browning too quickly, cover it with tin foil for the remaining baking time. Cool completely before cutting into bars. If you don’t, they will crumble when you try to cut them. Makes 16-20 bars.

Bits and Pieces

2011-09-26T10:09:00.000-05:00

I'm back! A few days to recharge without having to rush off to anywhere was just what I needed. I feel very refreshed! But I'd forgotten that when I spend a weekend by myself at home, it goes A LOT like this:

(I'm so serious. Replace dog with two cats.)

Anyway, I'm glad to rejoin society today, knowing that I'll come home to a clean, organized, fall-decorated house.

Trifle dish + fake flowers from last year's fall wreath + table runner = no-cost fall table.

I bought this adorable Pier 1 hook to use as a belt rack. It's a little extravagant for the inside of a closet, but I'll see it every day and it makes me happy. (I succesfully used a drill for this and several other tasks over the weekend. All the women independent, throw your hands up at me.)

When I was growing up, my mom had copper pans just like these. About a year ago I got nostalgic about them and wanted to hang them in my own kitchen, but she had sold hers at a yard sale. So she found identical molds at another yard sale and gave them to me. :) I couldn't decide where to put them, but this weekend I just picked a spot and nailed them up. They make me happy.

I stopped in at Anthropologie on Friday. Their prices are so ridiculous that I only go there for inspiration. Since I can't pin items in real life, I took some sneaky cameraphone pics. I love this mustard-colored top - the polka dots sealed the deal. Maybe Target will have something similar. I wouldn't have paired it with forest green AND navy blue, but who am I to question Anthropologie styling? :) And the dish is something to keep in mind for my next trip to Seize the Clay.

Finally, I read this cover to cover. It was perfect and I can't stop thinking about it. After some reflection, I've decided the trilogy is sort of a teenage, steampunk, role-reversed Princess Bride. It has adventure, history, science, politics, etc., and is more romantic than you'd think any of those things could be. That is the genius of Scott Westerfeld.

How was everyone else's weekend?

Mental Health Day

2011-09-23T13:00:00.000-05:00

I'm taking a day off from work today - for no better reason than I felt like I needed a mental health day. I have never done this before. I have a chronic case of Inadequate Vacation Time Anxiety. For some reason, I'm mentally stuck in the years when I had to hoard my vacation time like gold, and it was all spoken for as soon as I accrued it - for weddings, graduations, routine trips to visit family, and then maybe a short leisure trip. Although this month was my tenth anniversary at my job (bumping me to a new level of time off), I'm also in the life stage of adding babies, funerals, and surgeries to the time-commitments list. And both of my siblings now live in other cities. Plus, this is the freest I'll ever be to travel, and I want to make sure I'm taking advantage of it in between all those other things.

I've been busier than ever recently, and when my Macbook broke down this week, I broke down too, trying to figure out what class or event I could skip in order to take it out to the Apple Store. I was at the end of my rope. Suddenly all I could think about was how great it would be to take Friday off. To be quietly at home, enjoying the beautiful fall weather, working on my fall wreath, taking care of neglected home things and stretching out in my hammock with my highly-anticipated copy of Goliath. So, after my sister and friends reassured me multiple times that it wasn't irresponsible, I asked for the time off. And I am very happy about it. :)

Am I the only one who struggles to relax or take time off for no reason? :)

Memphis Zoo

2011-09-22T13:50:00.000-05:00

My company had a night at the zoo last Friday for employees and families! My mom came with me, and we had a great time. It's always amazing to be reminded how far our zoo has come from what it was like when I was growing up. The lions and tigers were confined to a small, sad brick building, and the rest of the zoo wasn't much better. Since then, almost every area has been expanded and naturalized (for lack of a better word). The poor hippos are the only animals still waiting their turn, but a new area is in development and hopefully it won't take too long.

In the China section of the zoo, some monkeys are now grouped together with a bunch of otters. It was the best show in town - we stood there watching for about half an hour! The otters are so adorable. They go everywhere in a pack.

This was my first visit to Teton Trek, a new area for grizzly bears, wolves, and elk. It's huge. I would even venture to call it breathtaking.

Zoo admission is free on Tuesday afternoons. Maybe I'll sneak out of work early one day and see the animals I missed this time, like the giraffes and rhinos.

Speak Now

2011-09-20T16:30:00.001-05:00

Last weekend, I went to Nashville again, this time for the second sold-out night of Taylor Swift's Speak Now tour. My sister Debra and I and our friend Erin bought these tickets way back in the spring, so by the time the day drew near, I had practically forgotten about it!

We started our evening with a delicious meal at Demos' steak house downtown, then headed to the show:

Thanks to this truck, we will never wonder where, when, or why this photo was taken. LOL.

When I first heard that Needtobreathe was opening for Taylor, I was almost more excited about seeing them than her. I started bouncing with uncontained glee as soon as their banner was hung on the stage. They were, of course, awesome, but only played five songs, which seemed like a short set even for an opening act. None of the selections were my faves, either. It made me more determined to go see them when they're headlining! (BTW, their new album drops today!)

The concert was AMAZING. There were trapdoors, an assortment of huge set pieces, a multitalented dance crew, acrobats, and at least six costume changes for everyone. Plus, surprise guests, but we'll get to that in a second. Oh and our seats were fantastic - the best I've ever had for a show of this magnitude.

Sparks Fly

Mean

Speak Now

Midway through the show, Taylor walked across the entire arena (hugging and greeting fans the whole way) and did an acoustic set under a giant fake tree, so everyone in the back suddenly had a front row seat. Then she walked back to the main stage on the other side. I thought that was pretty awesome of her.

Shining like fireworks over your sad, empty town

We had heard that the previous night, Hayley Williams of Paramore had made an appearance. I notified Debra that if she showed up again, I was going to FLIP OUT. So when a surprise guest was announced, I commenced flipping and then flipped even more when it was Kenny Chesney!!! He strolled out in his ball cap and sang "Big Star" with Taylor:

Not long after that, she brought out Andy Grammer (of "You gotta keep your head up, who-oah" fame):

Later, when the curtains opened again for the encore, Taylor was sitting there on a couch with Tim McGraw. !!!!!! He sang "Just To See You Smile," which is probably my favorite of his songs. I couldn't get over how crazy it was. I half expected Reba or Dolly or somebody to drop out of the sky next. Only in Nashville!

There was a balcony hanging from the center of the ceiling, and for the "Love Story" finale, they lowered it and it carried Taylor all around the arena.

As we left, Debra asked me, "How do you even describe that to people?" Well, I just tried. :)

I can hear the sound of any "cool" readers I may have had unsubscribing, but as Debra said, I feel good about supporting something that women of all ages can enjoy (although there were more men present than you'd think!). We saw hundreds of dressed-up little girls, and moms and daughters. Say what you will about Taylor, I think she's helping to fill an important hole in the American female psyche. While the other popular female artists of our day giggle about partying and getting trashed, Taylor encourages young girls (and old ones too :)) to stay classy, be strong, pursue their dreams, and hold out for a prince. I don't see anything wrong with that.

And while I'm trashing my street cred, I might as well admit that I like Celine Dion too. Yep, now I'm definitely talking to myself.

Randomness

2011-09-16T14:45:00.000-05:00

Sorry the blog has been a little lackluster of late. I'm getting into the rhythm of my fall "extracurricular" schedule, and while I'm enjoying everything, the adjustment hasn't left me many spare brain cells. So here are some stream of consciousness thoughts:

* Last night I had a vivid dream about renting out my suburban house so I could move to High Point Terrace (the cute neighborhood where many of my friends live) without the trouble of selling. I woke in the middle of the night feeling wired about this idea, so convinced of its awesomeness that I almost hopped out of bed and onto Realtor.com. When full consciousness returned this morning, it seemed much less awesome and I just laughed about it. I love the houses in High Point, but they're out of my price range, and my existing house is wonderful for me. With the added benefits of being affordable and already in my name.

* I don't get the huge, Black Friday-like frenzy over Missoni for Target. I like bold stripes as much as the next person, but not enough to cover myself and my house in them. Calypso St. Barth for Target was much more my speed.

* This week I found a gorgeous red ceramic ruffle-edged casserole dish, made in Italy, for $14 at T.J. Maxx. I can't believe I almost paid $60 for the same thing at the Williams-Sonoma outlet.

* While I'm not generally a Lady Gaga fan, her new jazzy song "You and I" is FANTASTIC. It would be fun to attempt at karaoke. With high heels on, of course.

* To quote Jarvis Greer from Channel 5, Tiger football is a hot topic around town, and not in a good way. I've been loving Geoff Calkins' articles about it. Even Jerry Lawler weighed in!

* I'm making slow progress on a cute fall wreath I saw on Pinterest. Of course I'll post about it when it's finished. So excited that fall is here! Yesterday I had my windows open and my Autumn Leaves candle burning, and it was so wonderful I almost didn't want to leave for yoga.

* Grace for the Good Girl is even better than I expected (and I'm still not finished). Several people I know have ordered it because I seriously cannot stop talking about it. I may need to write a series of posts to process my thoughts.

* This weekend will be fun and exciting - I'll have things to share next week!

Drunken Cheesy Bread

2011-09-14T09:21:00.001-05:00

Most of the recipes I post here are pretty healthy, so I feel okay about sharing a heart attack in a pan once in a while. I've had this recipe in my binder for several years, but never found the right occasion to make it. Then I was asked to bring an appetizer to a party last night, and I thought, why not? Now that I've tried it, I think it would be good for a football party, wine and cheese party, or even a brunch. It's very easy and quick to make.

Drunken Cheesy Bread
From Real Simple, May 2007

Ingredients (adjust amounts for the size of your pan and/or baguette):
butter for the pan
½ baguette, cut into 2-inch slices
½ small yellow onion, thinly sliced (I recommend mincing it instead)
1/8 pound thinly sliced cooked ham
¾ cup white wine
½ teaspoon black pepper
1 ½ cups (6 ounces) grated Gruyere (Other cheese options: Fontina, Swiss, Monterey Jack, or white Cheddar. I chose white Cheddar because it was special-occasionish but still affordable. Real Simple looooves Gruyere, but it's like $10 for a small brick.)

Directions:
1. Heat oven to 400° F. Place the bread in a buttered ovenproof skillet, square baking dish, or casserole dish.

2. Scatter the onion and ham over the bread. (I had more than one layer of bread, so I added onion, ham, and cheese to the first layer before topping with more bread.)

3. Pour wine over everything, and top with the pepper and cheese.

4. Bake until the cheese has melted and begun to brown at the edges, about 20 minutes.