Planting Day 2013

My vegetable garden is finally in! Last year I planted on April 1, so it's safe to say that this was my latest planting ever. But thanks to the Endless Winter of 2013, I couldn't do it any earlier. It was worth waiting to make sure the plants got the best possible start.

I've had a vegetable garden for about six years. My first garden location was poorly chosen, so after a few years, I moved it to the sunny south side of the house. That helped, but not much. So last year, my dad MacGyvered a raised bed for me out of old planks from my shed, and we filled it with "pro mix" from the local nursery. It was my best harvest ever - the peppers and herbs did pretty well - but still below average. The cucumbers and squash died early, the tomatoes were few, and the watermelons never progressed beyond sprouts. My dad decided that more topsoil would do the trick. So last Saturday morning, he went back to Bartlett Nursery on my behalf. The owner said that what we really needed was some of the "private stock" he uses on his own plants. (I love local businesses!) So he loaded a bunch of swamp muck onto the trailer, and we made rows of it in the raised bed. My dad was downright gleeful. I hope this stuff lives up to both of our expectations. :)

I also have this secret weapon, which has apparently caused near-riots at the nursery:

I was advised to dig holes for the plants in the rows of muck, put a little Wholly Cow at the bottom of the holes, then put some around the plants once they're settled. So that's what I did. I'm optimistic!

Here's what I planted this year!

Six kinds of tomatoes - Roma, grape, Sweet 100 cherry, beefsteak, Better Boy, and Mortgage Lifter
Two kinds of cucumbers
Three kinds of bell peppers
Banana peppers
Spaghetti squash - I forgot that this is a winter squash. Why are they selling it now?? We'll see how it does.
Crookneck yellow squash
One eggplant
Cantaloupe - my first attempt at cantaloupe
Heirloom watermelon seeds - trying again with these

In addition to the existing oregano and tarragon, which came back strong (exciting!), I planted new basil, dill, sage, and cilantro. (A few shoots of cilantro have naturally popped up, but I need a backup in case they don't make it.) My flat-leaf parsley has already come back and bolted, so I cut it way back and then re-seeded around the base.

I couldn't find zucchini, and I forgot the jalapenos, so I left space to add those later.

Last year I tried a soaker hose, then switched to an oscillating sprinkler because the plants were drowning. Then they didn't get enough water. But according to the nursery guy, the soil should be more settled this year, causing soaker watering to work better. So I got a new hose (the old one cracked) and put it between the rows, not on top of the plants. This is supposed to be good for root expansion.

For the second year in a row, my watering timer has also cracked, so I'll have to get a new one of those too. Does anyone else have to replace this stuff every year? It gets expensive. A watering timer is totally worth it, though. I couldn't garden without one.

Stay tuned for garden progress updates!

Three Years

Today is my third… me-iversary. Three years ago, my ex-husband walked out and my life as an independent woman began. I probably won't call attention to this date again on this blog, but three strikes me as a good, complete number.

I've been hanging onto some stuff past its expiration date. I didn't realize until recently that I was in a (very stealthy) rut. When I was first divorced, it was important to me to feel and process everything thoroughly. As unpleasant as it was, I didn't want to deal with "moldy leftovers" later in life. Gradually, I adjusted to my new circumstances and stopped tripping on emotional triggers around every corner. But by then, I had formed a habit of pulling up all my painful memories and bad feelings. Sometimes for more analysis; sometimes to wallow; increasingly, to make myself stop wanting a relationship (oh, you want to go through that again?). I thought the burden of those memories was an unavoidable curse of being divorced, and to a degree, it is. But I don't need to keep reliving it all anymore. It's okay to push it away. History has been fully reconstructed. The book is closed. These thoughts have no further constructive role in my life, and at this point, all they can do is hurt me. I can let them go. It feels good!

Subconsciously, I've been waiting for external circumstances to move me past this point. I thought I had reached the end of my healing alone, and anything further would have to be generated by something outside me. That's how it works for most people in my situation. Very few get this far without something – a new love, a new career, a total life change – pushing them into a new gear. Now I see that, like always, I'm responsible for pushing myself. I don't have to wait for a man, or whatever, to come and save me. God still has room to work in the here and now.

For a long time, and for no logical reason, I've felt like this is probably as good as it's going to get. My life is great in a lot of ways, but honestly, I'd hoped for a better endgame. But maybe God wants to do more than a satisfactory patch job with me, and He doesn't want anything else taking the credit for it. He might yet have plans for further restoration and emancipation beyond anything I could have imagined.

This week, on the elliptical (I have most of my epiphanies there, or while mowing the lawn), I felt a sudden certainty that I'm currently in the montage portion of my life. You know, the part of the movie or show with quick shots of the main character going to work, hanging out with friends, playing tennis. Nothing especially exciting happening. But then the montage and the music stop, and the real story begins. I don't mean to discount the montage, because I believe that much of what's important in life happens in the mundane. But we are all meant for some larger story. The daily grind, putting in the work, building the relationships, consistently showing up, is how we get to our stories. Someday the music will stop and it'll be time for mine.



PS – This morning, a friend of mine gave birth to her third daughter. I'm happy to see this day redeemed as a day of joy and life!

Lessons From Roses

I'm very into my roses at the moment. They're putting on an unprecedented show! I have three rose bushes, and the one in the middle is a Don Juan climbing rose that needs reinforcement. I've tried several trellises and things, but they've all been unstable and couldn't bear the weight of the plant, especially during storms. Once the rose started to bloom and flop over this year, I was reduced to what I had on hand: a short, flimsy cucumber trellis and one of those stretchy cords with iron hooks at either end. It was not an effective or attractive setup. Last Saturday morning, struck by sudden inspiration, I bought an iron trellis – the kind with longer prongs on the bottom – and drilled holes in the wood border of the rose bed to drop it in. Of course, right as I was finishing the drilling and feeling proud of myself, the drill bit got stuck. My dad had to come remove it for me days later with a vise. But now the project is complete, and the rose bush is securely tied up and looks beautiful! This problem had bothered me for years, so I'm really happy to have it taken care of.

The life of a rose bush has a nice, predictable rhythm. First you see the red leaves of new growth. Then the roses bloom. Then they fade, and the leaves and stems grow again. Then new buds set, and new roses arrive. But the plant takes a rest between bloomings, and it makes the roses more beautiful. I need to learn from that. I continue to struggle big-time with resting and recharging. Over the past year or two, I've made several good attempts at stepping back and learning to say no, but I keep ending up back in this overextended, stressed-out place. I hate missing out on any activities or invitations, and I hate accepting my limitations, but I'm headed for some spectacular crash and burn unless I figure out a real solution.

 

One thing I really need to get back to is at least attempting to keep a Sabbath. Without realizing it, I became one of those people who "can't afford to rest" on Sunday. Then I wonder why I feel strung out constantly. It's a commandment for a reason. Stopping when the rest of the world keeps going is hard, but that's no excuse.

 

Anyway. Thoughts on a Wednesday.

Quote of the Week

Or month or year...

Dothan Visit and Baby Dedication

In addition to having her first birthday party last weekend, Niecy was dedicated at Debra and Lance's church in Dothan. For those unfamiliar with the term, many Protestant denominations practice infant dedication as an alternative to infant baptism. It's a little ceremony signifying the parents' commitment to raise the child in a Christian home. It was extra special to have this pastor dedicate Niecy, because in addition to being Lance's former youth pastor and now his current boss, he also married Debra and Lance!

I don't have any pictures of the actual ceremony, but Niecy behaved perfectly. By now she's used to being the center of attention in a crowd. :) After church, she toddled around in her pretty dress from Baby Gap while we took pictures. And rolled around too, because hey, why not?

the whole gang

My parents bought a baby seat for Debra's bike and a little helmet for Niecy. After installing the seat, my dad showed her the helmet and demonstrated it on her doll. She watched the whole thing carefully, and when it came time to wear the helmet, she was fine with it even though she doesn't like hats. I'm amazed by how much she seems to understand at such a young age.


This was my first trip to Dothan, so Debra and I escaped one afternoon for a couple of hours of Hermanas Only tourism. She drove me around "the circle" and through downtown (such as it is) so I could get a good idea of the area. We also stopped at the mall to visit Altar'd State, which she had been dying to show me. (I bought a dress!) Commercially, Dothan has almost everything you could want, even a McAlister's. Plus it's only an hour and a half from the beach. I officially approve.

On the drive home, my parents and I stopped at some Alabama attractions: an isolated warehouse store selling mainly jeans and shoes, and Durbin Farms, where we ate lunch. Lance's dad had rhapsodized about their homemade peach pecan ice cream, and I was not disappointed.

So that's what I've been up to. Next week should be more normal in every sense!

Little Miss Sunshine Party

Last weekend, I went to Dothan with my parents for my niece's first birthday and dedication at church! I got back Tuesday night and am still trying to catch up on life, hence the quiet here on the blog. There's a lot to talk about, but I think the birthday party deserves its own post.

 

Debra planned this Little Miss Sunshine party for months, and her work definitely paid off. It was the perfect theme for happy Niecy. :) The party was held at the church gym. Most of the congregation's kids were invited, in addition to Lance's parents and extended family, me and my parents, some relatives who live in Decatur, and my grandma, who flew in from Miami.

Because so many kids would be there, Debra planned lots of themed activities like a bean bag toss, coloring area, Play-Doh area, and sensory station (a bucket of uncooked rice with some rubber ducks in it). I was amused as kids fought for a chance to get their hands in the rice. My educator sister just nodded knowingly.

To me, the most impressive activity was a memory game with covers of the Mr. Men and Little Miss books. Debra made the cards herself!

She also printed Mr. and Little Miss nametags for everyone.

There was a wall of Niecy's monthly photos all the way through her first year. It was fun to see how much she's already changed! People loved looking at these.

When it was time for presents, all the kids wanted to sit in a circle around Niecy. It was really cute.

 

A friend made the adorable cake and Niecy's smash cake. She says she's just getting started with cakes, but this looked like a professional job to me! Debra got the cupcakes from a grocery bakery and printed out the Little Miss Sunshine toppers herself.

Like most one-year-olds, Niecy wasn't sure at first how she felt about cake, but eventually decided she liked it. Later, fueled by sugar, she took TEN steps! And "danced" with Debra and me!

It was a great time. More trip recap to come.

How To Care For a Cat With IBS

If you're not brand new to this blog, you know that my younger cat, Peach, has feline Irritable Bowel Syndrome. It took over a year of distress and hundreds of dollars in vet bills to reach this conclusion (which, like most autoimmune disorders, is more a guess by elimination than a definitive diagnosis). I've written about her "journey" before, but today I want to talk about long-term treatment for an IBS cat. This post won't apply to many people, but I hope it really helps those who need the information!

Disclaimer: I am not a vet. The following is based on amateur research and LOTS of trial and error. What works for my cat might not work for yours. Also, some say that the proper term for chronic stomach upset in cats is Irritable Bowel Disease, but I'm sticking with IBS for simplicity, so please don't attack me on semantics.

Medication. The most crucial need of your IBS cat is a regular dose of prednisolone. The vet will start her on a fairly high dose to get the vomiting, etc. under control. Once she's eating and keeping food down consistently, you can slowly begin to scale back the dosage. The idea is to get her to the lowest dose that will keep her healthy. Peach was diagnosed in January and started on a whole pill twice a day. Over six-week intervals, I've cut that back to a quarter-pill twice a day. I'm currently trying to wean her to one daily dose instead of two, but I can tell she starts to feel puny around day three. So the experiment is ongoing. My vet says some animals only need medicine a few times a week, but it doesn't look like Peach is one of them. We'll see how it goes over time.

Happily, prednisolone is super cheap AND your vet can call it in to a regular pharmacy for convenience. I get mine at the corner CVS for $8 a bottle (which now lasts two or three months!). My first pickup there was hilarious: "Um, I'm picking up medicine for my cat?" Then I had to set up an account with her name and date of birth. It was fun for everyone.

I give Peach her medicine in a pill pocket treat and have never had any problems. She loves the treats and will actually remind me when it's time. The only kind I've found is Feline Greenies pill pockets, and they're fairly expensive – $10 for a bag of 45 (which lasts a month at most) – and only available at pet stores. I alternate the chicken and salmon flavors so she won't get bored. I also split the pills all at once and keep them in an old Tic Tac container. It's easier than digging the fragments out of a deep bottle.

I've read that natural enzyme supplements are good for even healthy cats' digestion. So most days, I sprinkle a little onto the cats' wet food. It dissolves and has no flavor. One large bottle costs about $10, and since you only need a tiny bit, it lasts forever (as in, probably years). I keep it in a salt shaker. The verdict is still out on whether it's really helping Peach, but it can't hurt.

Food. Your IBS cat should be on a high-protein, grain-free, varied diet. I actually switched both of my cats to grain-free food last fall, before I knew what was wrong with Peach, in case her problem was a grain allergy. That switch might have saved her life.

I provide dry food to my cats constantly (about half a cup in each dish per day) and give them each half a can of wet food in the evenings. I started with Nature's Variety Instinct wet and dry food, but after a few months, both cats refused to eat it anymore. I think it was too healthy. :) So now I get a variety of canned foods. They love Halo Spot's Stew, Canyon Creek Ranch, and Merrick Before Grain CAT (only certain flavors). Their current favorite canned brand is Avoderm, which has a lot of seafood options, but of course is the most expensive. For dry food, the cats like Innova, but I just found out it's been recalled. YIKES. So now I'm trying Blue Buffalo.

Again, I'm not a vet, but one key to feline IBS is to keep the stomach guessing. The more varied your cat's diet, the healthier she'll be. Your cat might be intolerant of certain common meats. I've noticed that beef and some brands of lamb make Peach sick instantly, but she does fine with chicken, especially in combination with other meats (like Before Grain's Quail and Chicken). She also eats fish, shellfish, and venison with no problem. If you're a hunter and have a lot of wild game on hand, giving some to your cat is a really healthy option!

A lot of cat owners swear by raw diets for managing or curing their cats' IBS, but I haven't tried it. If you're interested, there's plenty of information out there (and plenty of judgment, because people on the internet will rip each other to shreds over anything).

I wistfully remember my days of picking up a cheap bag of Purina One and a few cans of tuna while at Target. Now I make special trips to the pet store and spend around $75 monthly just on cat food. It's rough... but she's worth it! I recommend getting a loyalty card and sticking with one store for all your purchases. I chose Petco because it's closest to my house. They give me a $5 off coupon for every $50 I spend, and offer semi-regular 10% off deals on cans. Also, you can set up an order on their website and get automatic deliveries. That would make my life much easier, but they currently only offer canned food by the case. Petco, if you're listening, a mix-and-match option would be GREAT.


In summary, feline IBS isn't curable, but you can manage it easily with food and medication. Since Peach was SO sick for SO long, her quick response to treatment is still miraculous to me. I don't know how much weight she's gained since her all-time low of six pounds, but she started filling out immediately and looks much healthier. She may still have a shorter life, but it'll be of a higher quality than she had before. I'm thankful for every extra day of wellness!

Any questions?

I'm Not Josie Grossie Anymore

It sometimes happens that a woman is handsomer at twenty-nine than she was ten years before; and, generally speaking, if there has been neither ill health nor anxiety, it is a time of life at which scarcely any charm is lost.   
   - Jane Austen, Persuasion


Earlier this week, on a beautiful spring afternoon, I was driving home with all my windows down. While waiting to turn left, I heard snapping and whistling. I looked up to see a teenage boy in a nearby car waving at me. Perplexed, I figured he was waving at someone behind me. But as he turned and his car passed mine, he shouted through his open window, "Hey lady, you're looking good!" This kid was probably just being a silly teenage boy. But my knee-jerk reaction was more telling: I instantly assumed that he meant the compliment sarcastically. Was my hair a mess? Was the sun shining on me weirdly? Was something caught in my teeth? My natural response to unfamiliar attention is a traumatic flashback to my ugly duckling days.

Looking back, I wasn't the totally hideous preteen and teenager I believed myself to be at the time. I didn't realize then what an awkward age that is for most people. I felt exceptionally unattractive, and was treated as such by a lot of my peers. In middle school, I had thick aviator glasses and out-of-control frizzy hair crowned by 80s puffy bangs and cut by Fantastic Sam's. I had protruding front teeth and an overbite so severe that it barely escaped corrective surgery. I also had a nice figure, but was encouraged to hide it in too-large clothing, which I did until well into my 20s. I was constantly called names ranging from teasing (Bugs Bunny) to appalling (I'd rather not dredge them up). The boys in my neighborhood bullied me because I didn't know enough to stay quiet and invisible. When I took walks around the block, they followed me on bikes and barked at me to remind me of my dog status. Once, one of them spit on me on the school bus. Basically, if a guy tried to get my attention – at school, on my street, at the mall – something awful was guaranteed to follow. This continued for several years.

Eventually, I started high school, found my tribe, made friends with guys who weren’t jerks, survived three years of braces, and rebelliously grew out my puffy bangs. (My mom disapproved, insisting that I would have a "flat head.") I was too busy with activities to be fodder for the neighborhood boys. Everything improved. While classmates still took shots at me occasionally, it was no longer a daily experience. As I grew up, they had less and less to insult, and got less and less of a response.

I didn't fully transform into a swan – or at least a respectable goose – until my late 20s. It took me that long to learn to love and make the most of what God gave me. Around my 30th birthday, I looked in the mirror and saw an objectively attractive woman. Not gorgeous or a supermodel by any means, but not someone who should expect to be barked at. The dog days were officially over. I had bloomed. For the first time in my life, I was satisfied with my own appearance. That satisfaction hasn't been erased by my ex-husband's rejection or the general rejection that's followed, so it must be real. I'm confident that I am the most attractive ME I can be, and that's good enough for me. The key is to see it as succeeding at looking like myself, instead of failing at looking like someone else.

Even so, I still feel a surge of unpleasant adrenaline when certain types of people call attention to me – the "popular kids" grown up, or even the popular kids of today. I have to remind myself every time that they're not making fun of me. (They're not... right? :\) It bothers me that after so many years, I still struggle to believe that when people compliment me, they actually mean it. But I'm working on it.

April Book List

Saturday Night Widows: The Adventures of Six Friends Remaking Their Lives by Becky Aikman (5 stars)
I cannot say enough about this memoir - I've wanted to give it its own post. I only wish I had read it sooner. A few years after her husband died, journalist Becky Aikman gathered five other widows together to form an optimistic, forward-thinking support group - no Five Stages of Grief allowed. This is the story of their first year together, along with interesting research about grief, recovery, and relationships. The best way to describe my feelings about this book is that I want to give it a big hug. While I was divorced and not widowed, certain aspects of my situation have caused me to relate more to widows than other divorced women. Like Aikman, I've felt like a misfit among misfits as I've rebuilt my life. Reading these brave ladies' stories and being a virtual party to their conversations made me feel 100% less alone. It reassured and encouraged me SO MUCH, and I'm so thankful they were willing to share.

At Least You're In Tuscany by Jennifer Criswell (4 stars)
I reviewed this here.

Levitating Las Vegas by Jennifer Echols (3 stars)
I reviewed this here.

Bright Young Things by Anna Godbersen (4 stars)
If you loved Anna Godbersen's Victorian Luxe series, you will love her new series set in the eleventh hour of the Roaring 20s. Cordelia and Letty, two best friends from small-town Ohio, run away to NYC in the summer of 1929. Though they expect to find their fortunes together, they're quickly separated. Letty becomes a cigarette girl in a speakeasy on her way to stardom. Cordelia finds her long-lost father (a wealthy gangster), and a new friend in the spoiled but lovable Astrid. Nothing goes as expected for any of the three girls. The prologue declares that by the end of the series, one of them will be married, one will be a star, and one will be dead. So I'm committed to the ride. :)

Books for April: 4
2013 year to date: 22

***

Today is Niecy's first birthday! I can't believe she's already been with us a whole year! The world got better when she arrived in it. :)

What I'm Into

Linking up with HopefulLeigh for What I'm Into! My list isn't as extensive or organized as hers, but it's a good current summary.

Steve Madden Heaven flats and Old Navy tank dresses. I bought a pair of faux snake Heaven flats last fall and have worn them pretty much nonstop. So last weekend I bought two more pairs (one in metallic, to replace some falling-apart Target flats, and some purple ones on eBay). They're so comfortable and go with everything. As for the dresses, I have the poplin-crepe sundress in two colors and the jersey tank dress in two colors, and can already tell they'll be getting a LOT of wear this summer!

Revolution. I caught up on four episodes of this show over the weekend, and saw the new one last night. YOU GUYS, IT'S GETTING GOOD. They've brought in interesting new characters, added a few twists, and revealed enough information that I don't feel strung along. Also, there's no other way to say it - Charlie has successfully transformed from meek and mousy into a total badass. I love the growing bond and respect between her and her uncle.

Also: Hawaii Life on HGTV. I've never been to Hawaii, and this show makes me want to go even more. I'm entranced by it. You learn a little about the local culture AND look at gorgeous scenery and pretty houses.

 

Edy's single-serving ice cream cups. I've been addicted to these for a while, but lately I have one almost every night.

Spring flowers! I'm overwhelmed by the beauty and color around town. The azaleas are in full, glorious bloom right now. The lawns and trees have all greened up. I bought a few new flowers for my yard last weekend. The vegetable garden won't go in for another couple of weeks, though. It's still a little chilly most days and the ground is still very saturated. I won't have tomatoes until, like, August, but it's okay.

Jancee Dunn. I just started her memoir/journalism advice book, But Enough About Me, and have been laughing out loud on almost every page at her family stories. Her new biography of Cyndi Lauper just moved up my to-read list! I read her novel, Don't You Forget About Me, a few years ago and it was an instant classic comfort read.


How about you?

What I Learned On My Day Off

Every so often, life sneakily builds up on me until I'm at a breaking point. Over the last month or two, I've spent most of my lunch hours rushing to appointments, crossing tasks off my to-do list (stressing all the while about getting back to work late), or leaving early so I could go out of town or meet a service person at my house... then scrambling around attending events and stuff in the evenings and on weekends. I realize that this is normal life to many people, but personally, I can only power through for so long. I felt stressed constantly and couldn't deal with it anymore. Even after taking some time to relax last weekend, I hadn't come out of my mental fog.

So last Friday, I took a vacation day just to catch up on my life. I accomplished most of my nagging to-dos in that one day!* It's crazy how much easier it is to get things done in the daytime. Even though I slept in, by noon, I had already visited the car tag office** and gotten my tires rotated at Wal-Mart (and easily did the shopping while I waited). In just a few hours, I knocked out a list of errands that would have taken forever individually on a night or weekend. It was incredibly liberating. Then, with nothing hanging over my head, I was able to HAVE A WEEKEND. I had time for a leisurely brunch with a friend, reading, napping, catching up on my DVR, and even renting a movie (which has become the height of luxury to me for some reason).

I've concluded that my life would be vastly improved if I could have one Errand Day per month. One day (or even half-day) solely devoted to Doing All The Things, during which no one is allowed to call and redirect my plans or ask me for anything. Sometimes I feel ridiculous struggling to manage everything as a single woman. I sense mothers rolling their eyes at me thinking, How hard can it be? (and seriously, working mothers, I don't know how you do it). But as my friend and I agreed this weekend, single women are solely responsible for managing our own households. Even if it's only a household of one (and pets), we're doing it all on our own with no help and little time.*** As I've said before, single homeownership is not for the fainthearted. In addition to home responsibilities, most single women juggle busy social schedules to meet our needs for interaction… not to mention the time-suck of "putting ourselves out there" at every opportunity in the faint hope of meeting someone (because, as people love to remind us, God will not deliver the right man to our door). This is especially draining for me as an introvert, which is probably why I have these occasional breakdowns. I want to live a full and interesting life. I also want to know when I'm still single and too old to have children that I did everything I could. But often, all I really want is to stay happily at home with my cats and a good book and have it be okay.

Anyway, taking that day was one of the best things I've done for myself in a while. I can't really afford to do that as often as I'd like to, but in the future, I'll be less hesitant to take the time when stuff starts piling up. It's worth it.



* = The main thing I didn't do: call Comcast to cancel/negotiate my cable. I can't pay their exorbitant costs anymore, but I don't understand the competitors' cable/internet options and false advertising and hidden installation fees, and I also dread calling and arguing with them. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP.

** = Heads up: if you buy a car outside Shelby County and keep your old tag, it will NOT be transferred automatically. Even if the dealership said they would handle it, and you received completed transfer paperwork from the Tennessee Department of Whatever.

*** = This is still fathoms better than managing a household of two with no help and little time. (Been there, done that.) But that doesn't mean it's easy.

Book Review: Levitating Las Vegas

Levitating Las Vegas, the first non-YA novel by Jennifer Echols, was born via a writing prompt from Diana Peterfreund: "A young woman confronts her parents after discovering that she has inherited telekinetic powers." The concept was a perfect match for Echols' fascination with Las Vegas and its people, and she ran with it, winning NaNoWriMo with flying colors. You can read more about that here on her blog. While I plowed through Levitating Las Vegas and thought it explored some interesting ideas, overall I might like its origin story better than the actual book.

All her life, Holly has been a showgirl in her family's magic act at a Vegas casino. Her classmate/crush, Elijah, and his mother also work at the casino. When they're fourteen, Holly and Elijah both experience the onset of intense powers – telekinesis and mind-reading, respectively – after their parents inexplicably forbid them to date each other. Both are told by their parents that they have a dangerous mental illness, must never tell anyone about it, and must take medication to keep their delusions of power under control. Seven years later, Holly and Elijah are still walking the line and keeping their distance from one another. Then their medication suddenly becomes unavailable. Terrified of going crazy, and newly aware that they're both mentally ill, they go on a road trip together to the city where their medication is made. There, they begin to discover that there's much more to their powers, their history, their families and friends, and the casino they grew up in than they'd ever imagined.

I have mixed feelings about this novel. Vegas is full of characters and craziness that you won't find anywhere else, and I agree that it's ripe for fantastical plots. The pacing of the story was great – as I said, I had a hard time putting it down. It would make a fun movie. Romance-wise, revisiting a lost first love is one of my favorite plotlines. The ethical dilemmas raised by having strong manipulative powers are also fascinating. But something about Levitating Las Vegas just rang a little false for me. It seemed a little unpolished. I couldn't totally suspend my disbelief, and I couldn't totally trust Elijah as a character (but maybe we're not supposed to). I was bothered by many of his actions and his claims that they were for Holly's own good. I also felt excessively stressed at several points – much more so than usual while reading a suspenseful book. Maybe this narrative pushed some personal buttons I haven't identified.

Bottom line, I enjoyed Levitating Las Vegas. But I was slightly disappointed after LOVING the only other Echols book I've read, Major Crush. I'll have to try some of her other stuff.


Recommended for fans of: superhero stories, Justine Larbalestier's Magic or Madness trilogy


Disclaimer: I received this book for free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

A One Word Update of Sorts

When I chose Focus as my One Word for 2013, I intended to post about it monthly-ish to keep me accountable. Since I'm doing a pretty poor job of Focusing, I've procrastinated on the updates. It's hard to be accountable when you're not even sure what you're supposed to be doing. All I know is that I began this year, like many other years of my life, feeling overwhelmed and scattered. I knew I needed to prioritize and figure out the best uses of my energy.

Most importantly, I wanted to get serious about this blog and about finding more writing (and editing) opportunities. Even if I don't have much to show for it, I have made a start in that area. I'm more confident in what I want this blog to be and not to be, even if that means I miss out on the instant popularity provided by a more commercial approach. Aside from the blog, I'm soaking up information from experienced freelance writers and creative people. I've identified group blogs and websites with messages that resonate with me. I've responded to calls for guest posts, gotten no feedback, and decided that apparently I'm out of my league (while simultaneously at a loss to find a place that's in my league). Most successful writers experience years of rejection, but I fear I'm going to be, like, 80 years old, still trying, and still have zero published pieces of any kind to my name. My niece's future children will be like, "What's wrong with Great-Aunt B?" "Oh she just got another rejection from Today's Elderly Christian Woman."

The thing is, writing is supposed to be what I want to do, a source of happiness and fulfillment. Not to say it should always be easy – there's a deep satisfaction in doing difficult things when we know we're meant to do them. But if writing is reduced to a source of frustration at my continual lack of "success" as defined by others, I shouldn't be doing it. I need to think about my motives. I have this misguided idea that if God has called me to write, and I'm not on my way to reaching the masses, I'm letting Him down. In the words of an empowering blog post I read last night, the world "increasingly equates being extraordinary with the right to exist." If I'm just an average person sharing my average thoughts with a few people, what right do I have to speak? At the same time, I feel increasingly convicted that I don't take myself seriously enough as a writer. If I do have a calling, I need to own it regardless of whom I've written for, how big my audience is, or who thinks I'm any good. I could say my writing still matters even if only a few people care about it. But (if I could just believe this), the truth is, it matters even if only I care about it. Writing is the way I process everything. It's how I know I am alive. If my writing only makes sense of life or glorifies God to myself, it's enough. Seeking growth and working toward goals is healthy. Striving as an end unto itself is unhealthy. It can be a fine line.

So, that's my career-y Focus right now.

World Book Night 2013

Last night I participated in World Book Night! WBN started in England in 2011. As the website describes it, it's "an annual celebration dedicated to spreading the love of reading." Each year, 30 books are selected by a panel. To volunteer as a book giver, you have to complete an online application explaining which book you want to give away, and why, and where you plan to give it away. If you're selected, a box of about 20 books is sent to a local pickup location the week before World Book Night. Then, on the designated night, you go out into the community to give away the books, ideally to light readers or non-readers. This was the second WBN in America, and the second one I've participated in. Two for two!

I got my first choice for 2013: Bossypants by Tina Fey! Last year I handed out books sort of randomly, and this year I wanted to be more intentional. My original idea was to give away copies at a women's shelter (Bossypants is such a great book for women). But when I started researching, I quickly realized that most women's shelters are off the grid and don't allow visitors. The Salvation Army has one downtown that's not secret, but they never returned my call asking permission to give books there. Sooo I sent out some desperate e-mails to friends with charity connections. My eventual book giving location was Su Casa, a ministry to the Hispanic community that provides lots of English classes to non-native speakers. The evening class supervisor stood in the hall with me as students were arriving, and pointed out advanced students who would enjoy reading the book for practice. Many native speakers (instructors, I'm guessing) also took books, including several who indicated they didn't read much, and one had a lot of questions about WBN. Yay!

I've already decided that next year, if I'm accepted, I'm going to give books away at a hospital. Probably in the ER. So remind me of this in 2014 when I'm worrying about where to go!