My Super Sweet 34

On Friday I kicked off my birthday by sleeping in, then enjoying a smoothie with whipped cream while watching the Today show. I had forgotten it was also Kathie Lee's birthday, so they were celebrating too. Mid-morning, my mom picked me up and we went for a bike ride on the Greenline. I wore my favorite autographed DJ Stephens shirt. We saw turtles and lots of butterflies (expect a nature photo post soon). One of the butterflies alighted on my bike tire and hung out there, which I took as a good birthday sign!

My mom dropped me off at my friend/neighbor Elizabeth's house, and she and I (and her two younger sons) rode our bikes to McAlister's for lunch. Then I relaxed at home, and had a video chat with Debra and Niecy, before going out with a few friends. (Gandalf sat nearby while I got ready.)

We ate on the patio at Slider Inn, a Cooper-Young restaurant that's been on my list for a long time. I ordered the lobster roll - it's on the original list of 100 Things To Eat In Memphis. It lived up to the hype and the lobster was very fresh. At Myla's suggestion, I also had a Washington Apple. It was sort of like an appletini. I approved!

 

Caroline graciously made me a strawberry cake for my birthday, AND chocolate-covered strawberries, even though it was her first week of school and she was exhausted. I'm so thankful for her! The cake was the perfect ending to an awesome day.

The fun continued on Saturday. My parents took me to an IMAX movie about sharks (I seriously consider this special-occasion fun) and then to dinner at a surprise downtown location. We walked further and further down Main until I was drawing a complete blank. Then we stopped in front of Flight and I practically started jumping up and down!

(The middle wine was my favorite)

Flight has three-course flights of appetizers, entrees, wine, and desserts. Each of us had a different entree flight (my mom and I also got the complementary wine flights). I tried something different and ordered the Feathered Flight, which offered chicken and waffles in a mushroom sauce, quail and dumplings, and duck with spinach ravioli. Everything was to die for. I haven't liked the duck I've tried in the past, but this was exquisite. I also encouraged my dad to look for some quail on his deer hunts.

Best birthday meal ever. I'm still happy today thinking about it. I'm also thankful for the knowledge that my parents really get me, and knew how happy it would make me to go downtown and eat at a really cool and Memphisy place.

Overall, 34 was my best birthday in a long time. I felt loved and known by the people close to me, and have an unfounded sense of hope about the next year. I just think this is going to be a good one. I feel a rightness about being 34 that I didn't feel about being 33. It's all very mystical!

Birthday Reflections

It's my birthday! Partly inspired by my writing class, I wanted to write a post about "What I Know" at 34. But I came up pretty blank. Lately I feel like I don't really know anything.

It was easier to think of things that I'm genuinely grateful for today. I'm thankful for this healthy, strong body that does whatever I ask it to, and for every day I have left before I have to start coloring my hair. I'm glad that although my family isn't perfect, we enjoy and love each other well, and that my siblings and I keep a strong bond even though we have license plates from three different states. I'm thankful for my oceangoing heritage. I feel joy every time I think of my niece. I love knowing and loving so many different kinds of people. I love that my knowledge and appreciation of my city have grown exponentially in the last few years. I'm grateful to participate in God's creative process through growing flowers and food. I love that e-readers allow me instant access to any book in the world (even as I continue to support Real Books). I'm thankful to have a working bike and drive the most beautiful car ever. I'm happy to still be in touch with all of my best friends from childhood. I'm thankful that Tiger basketball season starts in 90 days. I'm grateful for my little progress as a writer, even though the path is dark and slow. I love that every night, when I get into my comfy bed with my two wonderful cats, it's the best moment of the day.

On my birthday, I like to read the Psalm that corresponds with my new age. Well, Psalm 34 is a really good one - a psalm of deliverance, praise, and blessing. God hears and provides refuge. My ESV Study Bible notes this:  
 
There is also a "wisdom" section embedded in the thanksgiving, which is appropriate, because it is the "wise" (i.e. those who live out their trust in God) who have occasion to give such thanks.

Christians like to joke about 33 being a big year, but for me it was externally anticlimactic and internally a struggle. But I have a good feeling about 34. Even if my outward life is exactly the same in a year, I just hope I'll trust God more than I do now. I hope that instead of waiting for "provisions" that might not be intended for me, I'll see God's blessing and deliverance more clearly in the life I have, and live out my trust in Him.

Birthday Recap and Friday Links

Thanks for the nice birthday wishes yesterday! I had a pretty good birthday - lunch with Myla and then dinner with my parents at Bonefish Grill. When we got back to my house, my parents surprised me with an assortment of Tigers stuff, including a Tigers Snuggie, which I've secretly wanted for years. It was especially funny because Myla had given me a pair of Tigers flip-flops! I am now fully prepared for tailgating and football season.

***

I read so many amazing posts this week that I have to do a Friday Links:

♥ I love everything Kelle Hampton writes, but I especially enjoyed her post about her recent writing retreat.

♥ Feelings and why they matter has been a hot topic among some of my friends lately. So these thoughts from Kari about worship and feelings are timely.

♥ This summer I've been studying Dan Allender's book To Be Told with some ladies from church. One of the key themes is allowing people you trust to "edit" your life story - i.e. living in real community. I have my own thoughts about the topic that haven't gelled yet, but this Amber Wackford post about community spoke to me.

♥ I'm excited that Justine Larbalestier is blogging again! Over the years I've appreciated her experienced advice for writers, and her recent post about the difficulty of getting started really helped me... seeing as I haven't touched my novel in over a month. :P

♥ Newly published author Lisa Burstein shares wisdom about measuring success in writing. It's much-needed confirmation for me that you can never really arrive.

♥ Ally Condie talks about being inspired by Michael Phelps. I'm also a Phelps fan, and admire him for not giving in to the tremendous pressure NOT to retire. It takes strength to walk away from something at the top of your game and start a whole new chapter of life, even when you know it's the best thing for you. I'll miss seeing him swim though!

♥ Post of the Week: Alece at Grit and Glory has a similar story to mine, and when I read her blog I feel like she's been reading my mind. This week she discussed the struggle to believe that God is both good AND sovereign, that God's favor doesn't equal a happy outcome. For whatever reason, I seem to be in the thick of that struggle these days, and she expressed it so eloquently. Go read!

Birthday Musings

Today is my 33rd birthday. It's my Jesus year! ;)

I have slightly mixed feelings about turning 33. I'm all about celebration and will NEVER be one of those women who wants everyone to ignore her birthday, or says she's "29 again" (major ughs). I'm honestly enjoying my 30s and happy to acknowledge another year of life! But the passing of another year reminds me of all I'd hoped to accomplish by this point in my life. It also highlights the fact that I am, always have been, and now probably always will be out of place for my age group. I've really been struggling with that lately. I've always been overconcerned with fitting in and catching up to my peers. I've always tried to be a robin when maybe God made me to be a peacock. So maybe this will be the year when I accept that and let it go. And stop worrying about having the open life and uncertain future of someone ten years younger, while all the other early-30s women are worrying about getting their kids into a good private school. God guides each of us on our own paths for a reason, and none are better or worse than anyone else's.

One of my mom's friends texts a verse to her every morning. My mom forwarded today's to me, and it happened to be from Isaiah 40, one of my favorite chapters of the whole Bible. I'm taking it as an encouraging sign.

Have you not known? Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.

Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted;

but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;

they shall mount up with wings like eagles;

they shall run and not be weary;

they shall walk and not faint.

32

It's my birthday!!! So far today, I have:

- received lots of phone calls, texts, and e-mails
- gotten lots of birthday wishes on Twitter and my Facebook wall
- had lunch at Newk's with Alanna and Myla
- received flowers and balloons from my parents, and a fantastic monogrammed Land's End tote from Myla

Tonight I'm having dinner at my parents' and then we're going to see The Help! I still haven't read the book (I know), but I'm excited about the movie. And who knows what else the day may bring? :)

This is the first year I've cringed at the number on my cake. But that's mostly because of singleness - if I was married, I doubt it would bother me. Aside from that, I know I'm in the prime of life. So far my 30s are beating my 20s by a mile. I've gained some wisdom and experience, I'm comfortable in my own skin, and I'm finally reaping the benefits of looking younger than my age.* :) My relationships with friends and family have never been stronger. I'm very blessed and loved. Here's hoping the goodness continues, and some happy surprises are in store for this new year of my life!

I've been on vacation in Miami and have lots to talk about, so stay tuned!

* = This was not so fun when I was in college and was regularly given children's menus at restaurants.

31derful

My pre-birthday weekend was good! My sister Debra threw me a small party at my parents' house with most of my close friends. She insisted on putting the correct amount of candles on the cake. I managed to blow them all out in one breath (flute skills never leave you), but I'm thinking next year a "3" candle and a "2" candle will be the way to go.

I got many nice and meaningful gifts, but Debra's was the most special. A few Christmases ago, before she and her now-husband started dating, I gave her a pair of diamond earrings. I wanted her to know that she was amazing with or without a man, and didn't have to wait for a relationship to have nice things. So, on my first newly-husbandless birthday, she returned the favor. She had to explain the significance to everyone because I was too emotional to talk about it. I'm so thankful to have such a loving, supportive sister! And the earrings are sparkly and gorgeous.

Today, on my actual birthday, I am at work. I thought about taking the day off, but decided it was better for me to be here than to spend the day alone because everyone else was at work. My friend Stacy took me out for a delicious Panera lunch, and tonight my parents are taking me to Macaroni Grill. I've gotten tons of nice greetings from everyone. I'm wearing a new outfit and feel cute and sassy. The temperature is a crisp 89 degrees (which seriously feels amazing after weeks of triple digits). 31 is getting off to a good start! Let's hope it continues!

Almost time.

Dear 30,

Almost a year ago, I welcomed you with cupcakes, anticipation and a big box of thoughtful gifts from friends. Although I was disappointed to leave many unmet goals and dreams behind in my 20s, you gave me hope. You were a round, decisive age in which anything could happen, and you felt a lot younger and fresher than I had anticipated. With you, I was finally going to bloom and break out of the roles that I'd spent my 20s trying to force myself into. I felt expectant, and knew I was on the verge of some sort of big change.

I never could have imagined the form that change would take. It was the opposite of what I had hoped for. I expected new fulfillment and new commitments, and instead I lost the commitment I had and the entire future I had planned. I was ripped out of my life by the roots and transplanted to entirely new soil. Although I feel more myself now than I ever have, it only happened because I had to either bloom or die. I have to re-make that choice every day.

30, you will go down in my personal infamy alongside fifth grade and the horrible sophomore semester of 1999. You have been the hardest year of my life, but also the year when I really began to live.

Sincerely, Brenda