Friday, August 5, 2011

Things I Love About My Life


I loved being married, even when it was difficult. All things being equal, I would still prefer to be married. But I'm truly thankful for many aspects of my single-again life - things I couldn't fully appreciate when I was single the first time:

I'm free to invest in people. I'm more flexible to drop everything to be there for a friend or family member if they need me, or just want to do something spontaneously. Instead of focusing on nurturing one relationship, I can give my time and attention to multiple people. I can make new friends. I can get involved in ministries. At times no one seems interested in my "investment," and then I start feeling a little Ecclesiastes. But most of the time it's good.

No one decides my fate but me (and God). If I "feel led" to change careers, or move to another state, or take up a time-consuming activity, no one's stopping me. My goals, dreams, and interests aren't secondary to someone else's. This is huge.

It's easier to be single than to be in a troubled marriage. I believed this logically in my younger days, but now I know it for a fact. It's a dense topic, but I only mention it here to say that this knowledge removes the desperation from relationships, or finding a man, and I appreciate that. :)

I am only responsible for myself. I know I can trust myself to be responsible, and at least try to make wise decisions, in multiple areas of life. I don't have to live in crisis management mode, bracing for the next problem. I can do my best and trust that there's grace enough for my mistakes.

I'm in control of my finances. This point is an offshoot of the previous one. Knowing that I'm capable of living on a budget, that I can sacrifice or adjust if I have to, gives me peace. I love being able to save and plan, and to give, and to splurge if I want to, with a feeling of security.

Traveling and going out is much cheaper. :)

I can cook (or not cook) whatever I want! Once the dust settled, this was the first thing I felt excited about, and it continues to be one of my great joys. :) Related domestic things, like the house staying clean and having control of the thermostat, also make me happy.

I can trust my environment. This sort of sums up the entire list. I know everything that's happening in my home, and I can be relatively confident that the things and people in my life are as they appear. It sounds melodramatic, but I lived in an atmosphere of uncertainty and deception for a long time. So it does me a world of good to live with cleanness and honesty and solid ground under my feet.

I believe that not all of these things are exclusive to single life, that they can be part of a good and healthy relationship. But honestly, experientially, I wouldn't know. So I'm enjoying them to the max in my current state, and am thankful!


  1. This is beautiful. Thanks for sharing!

  2. I'd agree on most accounts despite the fact that I've never been married nor am I living alone either. (I'm 26)
    I didn't know you'd been married before though!