Friday, August 5, 2011
Things I Love About My Life
I loved being married, even when it was difficult. All things being equal, I would still prefer to be married. But I'm truly thankful for many aspects of my single-again life - things I couldn't fully appreciate when I was single the first time:
♥ I'm free to invest in people. I'm more flexible to drop everything to be there for a friend or family member if they need me, or just want to do something spontaneously. Instead of focusing on nurturing one relationship, I can give my time and attention to multiple people. I can make new friends. I can get involved in ministries. At times no one seems interested in my "investment," and then I start feeling a little Ecclesiastes. But most of the time it's good.
♥ No one decides my fate but me (and God). If I "feel led" to change careers, or move to another state, or take up a time-consuming activity, no one's stopping me. My goals, dreams, and interests aren't secondary to someone else's. This is huge.
♥ It's easier to be single than to be in a troubled marriage. I believed this logically in my younger days, but now I know it for a fact. It's a dense topic, but I only mention it here to say that this knowledge removes the desperation from relationships, or finding a man, and I appreciate that. :)
♥ I am only responsible for myself. I know I can trust myself to be responsible, and at least try to make wise decisions, in multiple areas of life. I don't have to live in crisis management mode, bracing for the next problem. I can do my best and trust that there's grace enough for my mistakes.
♥ I'm in control of my finances. This point is an offshoot of the previous one. Knowing that I'm capable of living on a budget, that I can sacrifice or adjust if I have to, gives me peace. I love being able to save and plan, and to give, and to splurge if I want to, with a feeling of security.
♥ Traveling and going out is much cheaper. :)
♥ I can cook (or not cook) whatever I want! Once the dust settled, this was the first thing I felt excited about, and it continues to be one of my great joys. :) Related domestic things, like the house staying clean and having control of the thermostat, also make me happy.
♥ I can trust my environment. This sort of sums up the entire list. I know everything that's happening in my home, and I can be relatively confident that the things and people in my life are as they appear. It sounds melodramatic, but I lived in an atmosphere of uncertainty and deception for a long time. So it does me a world of good to live with cleanness and honesty and solid ground under my feet.
I believe that not all of these things are exclusive to single life, that they can be part of a good and healthy relationship. But honestly, experientially, I wouldn't know. So I'm enjoying them to the max in my current state, and am thankful!